Very moody this evening. Someone's mood affected other people's mood easily. When task was over, there was joy and happiness. But when met with mistake, well, I'm alright with mistakes. Who is in the world never make a mistake before? Glad that we can learn from mistake after that.
I tidied up my drawers and everything else I have. Found a notebook, written some kinds of goals I wrote a year or more ago. Didn't realise any of it. Just thought, well, I'm not cut for that???
Recently money was a bit tight due to things spent for a new house. That's not a big deal actually. Only that I cut down my social life quite a bit, which I was alright too 'cos I also need to spend my time on things I need to do. I rejected many invitation to eat, to sing, to drink, and so on. Spent most of my weekend with my families. Until I realised.. when I need someone to meet up, to confide, well, they might have their own activities.
End up, I spent this evening alone after work. Had my dinner first at Ipoh stall, alone, then took bus to Somerset. Browsed the shops looking for clothes for CNY, but couldn't find any suitable one. It is sometimes good to go out by myself, but my mind was wondering around too.. thinking.. what kind of life I wanna lead to.. after this..
Career wise, seems like stuck out if I'm about to stay. They have trained someone else to a higher post. Maybe I was designed to stick on my post forever there, just like three other colleagues who have been working there for years... Do I wanna be like them???? Well, my boss treats them quite alright, as long as they don't expect so much and are easily satisfied with what they get.
Question is... do I the type of person who is easily satisfy with what I have??? If yes, would I be prepared to remain as what I am for some time? I read this quote before: If you don't plan yourself, chance is, people will design your life. What will you get from it? Not much.
When I quit my job there, I didn't expect I would do something that was suitable with my experience and someone was willing to pay more. Well, not very big gap, but at least, there was value there. At the same time, with this experience, she would even offer me with better post and pay. Well, I didn't say that I don't like with what I'm doing now, but perhaps I am expecting more. So disappointment comes when you know someone has got that opportunity. And that someone has been taught and guided to learn more. I find myself stuck there. So how? Give some more time until I get ready with new wings? But even you have wings, doesn't mean other people will accept you. There is still need a fate. Where will my fate lead me to??
Actually, I don't mind staying.. as long as they increase my pay a lot every year... wakakakkaka.... wish ah... :P Dealing with same staffs all the time also need chemistry.. kekeke... If can maintain the relationship, it was good. If not, haiz..........
What else? I think I need to plan to go somewhere this year, another new place. Don't care if it has to be alone. Need to find some inspiration.. some other thing to feel calm in mind.
Still haven't found the answer yet. At the moment, just keep going.......
Wish me luck!!!