Thursday, March 21, 2019

The same old (Obiang) me

I think we do agree that old people is generally old-fashioned, difficult to adapt with changes, having old-thinking, old-taste, conservative thinking, and so on. I do not regards myself as old yet, but I realized I have much of those characteristics in me. OMG!!!

Plain-looking face (no colourful make up), hair-pinned short hair style (you must have started imagined those Angay (grandma in Bhutanese language) or Apho (in Chinese language), no taste in clothing (comfortable and economic t-shirt batik rubber three-quarter pants - for daily summer wear; and some old style jacket for winter wear), simple sport shoes and/or slippers (no high-heels at all in my shoe rack), have been the alarming signs of so old-fashioned lady.

Miss Obiang look ^_^" (Pic source: Instagram rimareyka.writes)

The above top was my recent purchase to fight the cool weather and you know what??? Many grannies admired it after I wore it and even wanted to buy it for themselves. Hahaha... I don't know want to laugh or cry when they wanted it (same taste). Lol!!! :'D

Recently too, I met an ex-colleague who is much younger than me but is currently experiencing career-switch mid-life crisis. He wanted to change the job from operational type (he used to be Chef who worked on shift schedule, no days off on weekend and public holiday), to an office job (desk-bound and more regular office hours).

We were chatting over sushi lunch and I tried to advise him on the suitable job role that he could choose next. However, there was nothing suited him. Then I realized that my thinking was a bit conservative, too old-style to recommend him such job (although it matched with his education background and working experience). Perhaps after being jobless for few years in such modern metropolitan and fast-paced country, where many jobs have been replaced with automated machines everywhere, I felt myself becoming far away with reality world. Haiz....

Only from last night chatting conversation with someone I haven't met before but the person knew me from my blog and Instagram, I felt a bit relieved since the person told me that I still look young, even mistook me as college student. Hehe... :P Thank you again for the comment - let me took it as compliment :D

And for your info (not an excuse hahaha...), actually I am still the same old me. How I prefer my simple look (no make up), prefer having short hair (easier to take care), light and comfortable footwear, simple shirts and jeans or any other comfortable pants, and never really bother much about my look or appearance in the eye of others, especially when I travel overseas. To be in a place where nobody knows me, I had plenty of freedom to wear such an Obiang design hahahahaha... :P

Miss Obiang in full view :P

Here is the full picture of me that very day. Didn't I blend well in the environment? :P Hope I haven't yet reached that stage of old age yet despite how old fashioned my thinking was!!! :D

Same old me - back in 1997 (Tai Yuan, China)

And hope the above photo could prove the same old (Obiang) me, even when I was still a bit younger (back in 1997). I was wearing my grandma's oversize shirt, mom's pants, CD-man case sling bag, and China-made jacket on my travelling days :)

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Aspiration in life. Will that day come???

"The trouble is"- Buddha

It has been exactly two months since my last post. Oh my God!!! How time flies!!! I am not sure if it is because I have been living in such a fast pace world (Singapore country, to be exact), or I have been living my life with so many activities lately.

I too just realize that I have not updated any post on my journal, I even almost thought that I had lost it as I kept it somewhere I could not remember before typing this post. The journal update has kept decreasing despite I had not engaged in any full time job for the past few years. This journal has not even fully written since two years ago. Hahahaha.... 

I just feel that I have been busy each and every day, do not have enough time to do so much things that I really wanted to do. There were so many last minute activities I agreed to join as well. Other than list of doctor appointments on my phone calendar list, I have not jotted down the 'to-do-list' like what I used to do during my working life.

"In Search of a Meaningful Life" - Lama Zopa Rinpoche

It seems like 2019 has just been started few days ago and now it has already 14th March!!! Two and half months has gone by with rows of joyful activities plus a desperate need in balancing business of life and time to take a good rest - both body and mind.

Few Buddhist books left half read, lying hopelessly on my bedside table waiting for my attention to grab and finish reading it. Not only those, it also includes the e-book that I downloaded and let it expired when the time came.

What have I been doing??? All the business, all the activities. I feel like I should get away from all this, go somewhere quiet and peace, do nothing but practicing meditation, learning Dhamma, being silent and practicing ten sila or precepts daily, just like what I had last time at Wat Suan Mokkh, Thailand. 

The 3C's in Life Quote (Pic source: Google.com)

I was not saying that I regretted all things I did all this time (being busy and hectic). I just want to have a peace of mind and silent environment, surrounded with only nature and simple life (not owning much - just some clothes to wear and decent food to eat). Someday I may reach a point where I say, this is enough. Just like Prince Siddharta, I may leave it all and join the monastic life, which lead me to somewhere. That someday, I wish when the time is right, the day will come and the teacher is there to guide me. Will that day come???

Monday, January 14, 2019

At this age

Actually I planned to post this topic on my recent Birthday last year, but I was too busy holidaying with my families. Therefore, I had no time to write at all. So, only now I could finally finalize the below, things that appeared on my thought, as parts of growing up and after experiencing few decades of life on this earth.

Smile is my make up :) (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)
At this age, I:

1. No longer have a need to impress others. I am who I am - whether you like it or not (inside and outside).

2. Wear anything that's comfortable (including shoes and slippers) - no matter how simple or ugly it looks.

3. Support and implement a natural look (without make up). So, many times, people have mistakenly thought that I was in my late 20s due to, well, perhaps I have been wearing smile as my make up ;)

4. Feel that I look better in long hair rather than short hair. But due to the circumstances (hot weather, hair loss, etc.) I have to cut my hair short (sometimes very short!), which in the end, I will be looking ugly/ auntie-look (due to my round and chubby face). Lol! But no matter what, I will always prefer comfort over good looking. No one to impress anyway!!! :D

New hair for the new year!!! :)

5. Eat to live, not live to eat - but still love eating. Meaning, I am no more fancy the buffet style or having the mentality of must-go-eat at restaurant anymore. Any cheap, simple and nice dish will do to fill the stomach, especially the home-cooked ones - not only healthier, but also saving dollar and cents for other cause.

6. Have to maintain my weight - to be under acceptable range - for a good health (as the age increases, metabolism has become slower and very difficult to lose weight).

When metabolism starts getting slow (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

7. Continue to balance life - work, travel, continuous learning, exercise, play, rest, read, write, and all the things I love doing.

8. Try my very best to include exercise as part of my life, even if it is only a walk (thanks to the active watch, it monitors how many steps I have everyday!)

9. Do what I love (when possible!) - especially when it comes to 'work'.

10. Still struggle to find it though. Preferably can earn money, have more freedom, less gossip / negative environment, and less stressful job. Best if I do not have to dress up and wear make up to work! :P

11. Still have difficulty with speaking the right thing at the right moment (too direct and blunt). Haiz!

12. Deeply feel grateful for having more than a roof on my head (as I am blessed with balcony where it is the best place to start and end my day, to relax, to drink tea/coffee with cakes, etc.)

Morning view from the balcony (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

13. Changed the goal that I set earlier in life - from making myself happy, to current one - make the other beings happy :)

14. Am very grateful for the family members and very good friends to whom I can share my love fully and unconditionally.

15. Continue feel grateful for my fate with Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha. They are always there for me all the time. Thank you!

16. Have known and understood well the difference between love and attachment.

Difference between love and attachment (Pic source: Google.com)

17. Have realized that ego is the source of all suffering (which I still have it sometimes in my behavior!).

18. Still have difficulty to apply meditation in everyday's life (How I wish that sleeping is the best way to meditate :P)

19. Feel that reading and watching movie/ drama series are two things to avoid world's problem (which I enjoy a lot!)

Quote from current favorite Korean drama "Encounter" (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

20. Try to include visit to Buddhist temples plus rejuvenating mind and soul activities into my travel itineraries (when possible!)

21. Regard luxury as the last priority unless someone paid for it :D

22. Rather explore more countries or treat others with the the extra money.

23. Buy what I need, not what I want.

24. Fully believe that we should donate while we are still alive, and not after we die because by doing so, we are able to practice letting things go and non-attachment.

25. Try my best to do it now, today, and while I still can - as tomorrow is uncertain and not necessary comes.

26. Still lack of parenting skill but I guess communication is still the best key in any relationship (including parent-child relationship).

One of the dating time with Baobel :)

27. I'm still selfish as I was before (see note no. 17). Try hard to cut it down but it has become a habit! Yalama!

28. Find out that cooking with love is still my favorite thing to do. Now, baking too (although I can only bake very less varieties of cakes :D)

29. Will let people misunderstand me and think whatever they like because I can never stop them from doing that.

30. Realize that only true friend will accept me of who I am with all good and bad things I have (I think my hubby is my only true friend in life - he is left with no choice!) Lol!!!

31. Am grateful for having few trusted friends whom I could open my heart up with. Thank you!

32. Think that friendship is not based on how long we have been together, but how both parties are able to respect, commit, put effort, and willing to be there not only when one is having good times only!
Everything is temporary in life quote (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

33. Won't hesitate to let the fake friend/ people go away from my life - life is too short to be unhappy!

33. Enjoy travelling as it always trains me to be outside my comfort zone, adapt to new environment, practice detachment and impermanence in life.

34. Still wonder why people love and will never stop gossiping. Why don't they just keep quiet, do their work, and just speak when necessary. Jokes are welcomed but negative environment is really bad for health (body, soul, and mind!)

Who are you to judge anyway quote (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

35. Am glad that I never look beautiful as it often attracts the unwanted problems especially when traveling alone or to country where woman is often vulnerable. And instead, I was even gifted with this big size body that always ready to hammer any bad people who tried to disturb me :P

36. Believe the power of pray as it has been proved by many. It can even create miracles in life. So, don't give up hope and keep praying!!! Pray harder when necessary!!!

37. Do believe in power of positive thinking!!!

38. And the law of attraction (the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on, which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality). So be careful on what you think!!!

39. Believe that to get the peace of mind, it must be started from home. Without peace and harmony among the family members, nothing will go well and according to what you wish for!

Peace and harmony starts from home quote (Instagram: Rimareyka.writes)

40. Realize that friendship is essential in life and you can never live alone no matter how great, powerful, or rich you are!

Well, those are resulting from life's experience (good and bad) and I believe that everything that has happened in my life, it all happens only for good reasons. I am really grateful for everything that happens to me. One thing relates me to another, then another, then another. It links me and shapes me to who I am. Not everyone goes through the same process. Even when they do, they may react differently and give a very different result.

It is all in our minds how we want to live our lives. What we want to focus, what our goal is, what our priorities are, and so on. I believe we are all a very unique human being, with different strengths and weaknesses. So, have you ever thought what kind of thought and way of life you have gone through so far?

Be grateful for everything quote (Instagram - Rimareyka.writes)

Those may change along the time. As we grow up, we may experience more, do more mistakes, face more challenges in life. Just keep being positive and always learn the lessons from it! Time to sleep now. Few years from now when I looked back to this post, I might laugh on what I ever believed and thought. Well, changes are constant. We will never know what I will become one day! :D So good night, and hope you enjoy reading my thoughts! Cya! :)

Sunday, January 06, 2019

2019 New Year's Resolution!!! Well, Life's Resolution!!!

It's the fifth day of January 2019!!! Happy belated New Year!!! Hahahaha... Is there such thing? :P Nevertheless, this will be the first post I write in the year 2019!!! :) Hope everyone is in good health and everything goes well so far!!!

Not sure if you noticed or not (eventually I did), I saw many people exercising especially on the first few days of the year (be it running, going to gym, cycling, swimming, and so on). Then I would be reminded that "exercising" must be one of the things listed in their New Year's resolutions. How long would it last? Only heaven knows. Some might be able to maintain it well, but some might only have temporary spirit to do it. Hahahaha.... :P


Typical New Year's Resolutions (Pic source: Google.com)

I used to set the New Year's resolutions just like the above picture. To try and learn new things, dream big, live colorful life, choose happy, do what I love, etc. I kept doing it until it had become part of my life's habits and way of life. For now, there was nothing new from the above resolutions.

Then when the New Year itself arrived, I still had no idea what resolutions should I have this year??? I thought, "Let nature takes its course. Maybe just leave it and live my life like usual," until I chatted with few different people recently.

From my conversation with them, I realized that I had always had that thought in mind, although I had not really been doing it. Eh, that thought in mind that I referred to was, I always imagined myself of joining nunnery one day, busy chanting or reading Tibetan text (as if I could understand Tibetan language :D), having solitary life (leaving family and friends behind and serving other beings), and so on. But of course, I never had a courage to really do so.

All the Lives We Never Lived by Anuradha Roy

Moreover, recently I read the book written by Anuradha Roy - All the Lives We Never Lived. In one part of the story, the protagonist's father left home embarking on a pilgrimage, following in the footsteps of Buddha to Patna, Nalanda, Lumbini, etc., living as Buddhist monks did, with no money, seeking food and shelter from the charitable, meditating and learning about Buddhism along the way, and with no time frame too.

Upon returning home, he found out that "The world thought it was an unbalanced thing to do, but anyone who is truly spiritual is both mad and selfish. So many great seekers have spurned family and children, left them bereft for years on end; was not the Buddha similarly guilty? And yet, would anyone say that it was a mistake for him to have left? How many millions over how many generations have been saved because he had the strength to sacrifice his family? My own misguided quest ended in failure of sorts; I learned at the feet of great masters, but my attention wandered. My back ached. My insect bites itched. In short I discovered I was human and pitiful and my physical needs were greater than my spiritual hunger. These are bitter things for me to confess but necessary: the first necessity in the quest for knowledge is truth."

If I was so extreme, I might end up like him. Go for it, try it for myself, and come back with such thinking. Is it really necessary for me to leave everything behind and join the nunnery for the quest of my spiritual hunger?

Many who are younger than me (in their twenties), told me that this type of life would never suitable for their age. They feel that age is the measurement of the proper actions in life. Like in twenties, they feel that it is time for them to indulge themselves to fill their desire to their hearts' content (go for party, karaoke, binge drinking, trying different girls, etc.). It is also good time for them to get marry, build career, earn more money, have children, etc., which is not wrong at all.

And only when they get older, it will only be the suitable time to slow down in life, meaning, by then, they will change their life style - more pray and circumambulate, more visits to temple, more time to meditate, etc.

So, the search for the peace and happiness, the quest of the truth, will only be applicable in the olden age. Well, if you are lucky - meaning if you can live that long - then only you will have such opportunity. But if you are not (anything can happen you know! Does not mean you are healthy and strong now, then you will stay healthy and strong forever. Accident may happen to us anytime of the day too!), it means, you will waste your chance and opportunity for having been born as human in this life, to invest yourself for a better next life.

I'm just thinking, the solution for this is to live the balance of both worlds. Do both things at the same time. Not too extreme on both sides, but find the middle or correct way of doing it. And you can start it from the younger age, not necessarily wait until you get old.

In Buddhism, it is believed that to be born as a human being is the goal of every reincarnation, because only when we are in the form of human, we are given brain that differentiate us from other beings and compassionate heart to help more sentient beings. Only when we are human being, we are given the opportunity to change our life, to lessen up bad karma and make more good karma. And it makes me thinking that my New Year's resolution would be this - "Be a better self than before."

Meaning, everything that I do, I hope that I can be more aware of it - the words that come out from my mouth, the thinking that appears on my mind, the action that I do. I know it very well that I am just a human being, with lots of mistakes and imperfections. I often said things I did not mean it; I often hurt people's feelings at spur of the moments; I often did things that I soon regretted it; I often did stupid things that hurt other people's feelings. I felt sorry but somehow I could not restrain it.

I just think that, well, maybe for some, I am considered in old age category (lol!), which suits me best to start having peace of mind, meditating more, doing more good deeds and so on. But still, I feel that it's best to set that resolution for more years to come and instill it into my everyday's life, just like the rest of the resolutions above that have been the parts or way of my life.

2019 New Year's Resolution!!! Well, Life's Resolution!!! (Instagram: Rimareykawrites.com)

I wish I can use the opportunity of being born as human being in this life well, not waste it unnecessarily, treasure it, and live it well, the best I could. I may not be able to cut my hair bald and change my everyday's clothes to red or orange robe. I may not be able to meditate inside the forest accompanied by mosquitoes and snakes around. I may not be able to help every beings surrounded me. I may not be able to resist temptations that comes in life fully. But I really hope I can be a better self than I was before, one day at a time, until the end of my life. This will be it. Not just a New Year's resolution, but my overall life's resolution. Wish me luck!!! :)
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