Monday, April 24, 2006

Everyday I wanna be happy.. difficult??

Lately, I found that the working environment is not that great again. I was used to be alone when it comes with avoiding the gossip in office, 'cos truthfully, I don't like to be involved in any gossip session and, especially, being gossiped by others. Only after recently, when the IT Mgr was allocated to sit beside me, then it indirectly involves me in their conversation, which may cause others not to feel happy about it.
Recently, I got a salary adjustment, in which the amount I got was quite high, and unfortunately, quite lots of colleagues knew about it although it supposed to be a confidential information, and it causes jealousness towards me, who have just worked here for about a year plus.
Today, my colleague is on sick leave and only after she got sick, then her sup started to think whether her portion of job is too much or not.. a bit too late, am i right? But again, I don't want to interfere so much as even I knew it, I can't do anything about it.
Some were eyeing me to cover another colleague's duty when she was not around. For me, I don't mind to learn something new as long as it benefits me in the future's job. I mean... I work here now but it doesn't mean that I will work here forever... or for that long period of time like some other people do. Now I study account although I'm not sure myself whether I will work in account in the future. But, why not? I just knew that I love math since I was young and burn my brain a little bit would do if I still can earn enough money to continue living on in this world. I mean, I would do anything to be able to get a proper job, in any company that would like to accept me. I have a positive attitude towards work, so I'm not afraid in anything when it comes to job. I just don't like the environment where people stab behinds me, laugh at me, talk about me, just because they envy about me.
Now, I just can tell myself to be happy about what I have, and show it to them.. that.. yes.. money is important.. but for me.. working with good money but lousy environment... huh.. i can't be bothered with it.
I got this quote below from somewhere..
"Work, as if you don't need money...
Love, as if you've never been hurt..
Dance, as if nobody can see you..
Sing, as if no one can hear..
And live, as if the earth was heaven..."
The first sentence would be suitable for me now. I want her to know.. for me.. work is only to get enough for living. For me.. work is supposed to be enjoyment and it's good when we treat each other as a family, and not an enemy. And I also want her to know.. for me.. money is not everything. I still have other things that satisfied my life, not just money alone.
So please.. I don't know if you or anyone else read this.. don't get jealous with me over money or attention, 'cos yes, I'm very grateful that finally got someone who look at me *perhaps, pity me?? hahaha.. , and I want to thank my boss for everything that she has done to me.. but my life will still go on.. here.. or anywhere else in this part of the world. I prefer to find more friends than enemies in life.. If you treat me as ur enemy, then it's fine for me.. I just need to keep a distance from you.. but I hope you won't jealous more over what I got, 'cos I expect you to get happy while working too... Well.. not my problem anyway.. it's all up to an individual.
For me.. I want people know that I'm always be happy.. *maybe.. try to always be happy.. although I didn't or disappointed over something.. But to be happy is my goal in life now.. not to be great person.. not to be successful person.. but to be happy with what i have...

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