Story of devastated parent

Being a parent isn't an easy task. One child or eleven children you have, it is a challenge to overcome.

On Christmas eve, I heard the news from my colleague. She was asking me if I heard that one of my colleague's daughters faced an accident and died. Since my office location is kind of deserted from the rest, I seldom receive fresh gossips and I myself seldom being 'kaypoh' or busybody in other people's matters.

At that time I only wished that the news wasn't true and it was merely a rumor. The colleague mentioned is a kind heart man who has five daughters in the family. During his break time he sometimes sits opposite my table and shares his stories, a lot related to his families. I worried after hearing the news and immediately asked someone who might know the situation better and sadly she said it was true.

What made situation worse was that he was holidaying with his wife on cruise and they couldn't be contacted. My friend also had no details on which cruise he took, which place he went and for how long. They tried very hard to get the info by asking around to many authority office and finally found out that he would be back the day after.

From Facebook, I found out that it happened to his third daughter who was only sixteen years old. From my Boss, I heard that the accident happened when she was driving at night together with two friends, and hit the tree. She died on the spot while her two friends were hospitalized.

Yesterday he finally came back to work. It's kinda hard to face him as it's just second day of new year and he is still on grieving moods. During past few days I didn't send him any condolence message as he stayed in Malaysia and we communicated mostly in Chinese. I didn't know how to write condolence message in Chinese and just wanted to give him time to deal with the loss. Although sad, he was still trying to smile as it's been his usual traits and we didn't say much words.

At 4pm plus, he finally came into my office and sat opposite my table. He just came back from immigration office canceling his daughter's Permanent Resident's status that he just got for the whole family few months ago. I still remembered how happy he was when he got it and many plans were written on his head, such as buying a condo here for his daughters to stay, study, and work, etc. And now, even before his daughter able to enjoy the status, it had to be canceled.

Luckily my work of the day had almost done. I listened to him for an hour, let him conveying his feelings. I'm sure he had to act strong at home as the head of the family, but no matter how strong you are, we're just a normal human being who grieves over the loss of the loved one. There, he told me the incidents, the loss suffered by him, his wife, his mother, his daughter's friends; showed me the photo of the wrecked car, the accident place, and the tree. He told me how he first heard about the news and how his wife was crying non stop.

Many things he shared with me this evening. He told me that he loved this daughter the most as she was the most sensible one, the most lively one in the family. He was sad over many dream she hadn't fulfilled yet; one of them was to train at our pastry kitchen with our pastry Chef. He mentioned it to me before as he preferred her to train under my place rather than inside the pastry kitchen. Just too bad, it will never be realized.

I'm glad he told me all that in person. Despite feeling very sad, he tried his best to be strong and let go. I was really saddened by the thing happened especially I'm a mother myself. It must be not easy to lose the one that you love most, the one that you put much of your hope into. But perhaps, this all has been written as fate and destiny in current life, something that you can't go against and meant to happen.

Although we all know that birth and death are part of our lives, it's still difficult to accept. He needs more time to accept the reality. He told me that he still misses her voice, her sight, her companion, everything. So much words left unsaid. Now it can only be said through prayers.

Pic source: Google.com

I only hope he and his family are able to go through this hard time and back to normal life again. Be strong Chef! May Buddha bless you and your family. Sabbe Sankhara Anicca. All conditioned things are impermanent. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.