"The trouble is"- Buddha |
It has been exactly two months since my last post. Oh my God!!! How time flies!!! I am not sure if it is because I have been living in such a fast pace world (Singapore country, to be exact), or I have been living my life with so many activities lately.
I too just realize that I have not updated any post on my journal, I even almost thought that I had lost it as I kept it somewhere I could not remember before typing this post. The journal update has kept decreasing despite I had not engaged in any full time job for the past few years. This journal has not even fully written since two years ago. Hahahaha....
I just feel that I have been busy each and every day, do not have enough time to do so much things that I really wanted to do. There were so many last minute activities I agreed to join as well. Other than list of doctor appointments on my phone calendar list, I have not jotted down the 'to-do-list' like what I used to do during my working life.
"In Search of a Meaningful Life" - Lama Zopa Rinpoche |
It seems like 2019 has just been started few days ago and now it has already 14th March!!! Two and half months has gone by with rows of joyful activities plus a desperate need in balancing business of life and time to take a good rest - both body and mind.
Few Buddhist books left half read, lying hopelessly on my bedside table waiting for my attention to grab and finish reading it. Not only those, it also includes the e-book that I downloaded and let it expired when the time came.
What have I been doing??? All the business, all the activities. I feel like I should get away from all this, go somewhere quiet and peace, do nothing but practicing meditation, learning Dhamma, being silent and practicing ten sila or precepts daily, just like what I had last time at Wat Suan Mokkh, Thailand.
I was not saying that I regretted all things I did all this time (being busy and hectic). I just want to have a peace of mind and silent environment, surrounded with only nature and simple life (not owning much - just some clothes to wear and decent food to eat). Someday I may reach a point where I say, this is enough. Just like Prince Siddharta, I may leave it all and join the monastic life, which lead me to somewhere. That someday, I wish when the time is right, the day will come and the teacher is there to guide me. Will that day come???
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