Advise from someone

22 May 2000

cinta yg tumbuh di hati
bagaikan mawar yg tumbuh di taman...
semakin kita pupuk..
selayaknya mawar yg tumbuh,
makin indah dan bermekaran ditaman..
semua yg memandang taman itu..
akan berpikir..
lihatlah taman mawar itu..begitu indahnya mereka bermekaran
ingin rasanya memiliki taman mawar seperti itu...
tapi bagi mereka yg memiliki taman mawar itu,
pastilah tahu segala suka dukanya dalam memeliharanya...
semenjak awal mawar itu dipupuk...
seiring waktu..semakin banyak bermekaran..semakin indah dari hari ke hari..
semakin sering pula kita tertusuk oleh duri2nya dalam merawatnya
terkadang kita lalai dalam memeliharanya..
taman yg indah..tercemar oleh rumput2 liar..
merusak keindahan taman itu...
terkadang kita membuat kesalahan dalam memeliharanya..
mawar yg indah...terinjak oleh kita....
mematahkan tangkai2 mawar yg indah tersebut...
lalu kita kan berpikir kembali..
begitu susahnya memelihara taman itu...
seringkali kita tertusuk oleh duri2nya...
seringkali kita lalai dalam memeliharanya...
seringkali kita ceroboh dalam memeliharanya..
lalu kita kan berpikir kembali...
begitu indahnya taman itu...
sering kita terhibur olehnya..
sering kita merasa..tak ada taman lain seindah taman kita..
dimana semua mawar kan tumbuh subur dan indah..
sampai kita dipanggil keasal...dan taman itu kan terus dikenang oleh yg lain..
kita semua memiliki taman itu dihati kita masing2..
pertanyaannya hanyalah...
jalan mana yg kan kita ambil...
antara suka dan duka itu..

Thanks for your advice..
I'm going to build my rose garden beautifully w/ my family and keep it up! Jia you!!!

Love Quotes

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I do not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Just getting the quotes above from my friend... >_<
He quoted it from movie "Patch Adams", which I didn't even watch it before.. hehehe...
Oya.. there is one rose and a small box of heart-shape chocolate on my table.. =D hehehe... brighten up my day even more... XP
And Rmn just called me saying that he won a pair of small Eternity parfums from last nite's lucky draw.. suitable to be put in my small rack.. hahahahhahaa..... Happy Valentine's Day again...

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!!!
Do you feel any difference today??? Or do you feel the same???
For me.. I feel slightly different.. =)
When I opened my office email this morning.. I received one e-card from my friend who are now staying faraway from me. Thanks for your lovely thought, Flo!!! And not long after I opened it, I received another one.. also from her.. hahahahhaa.... I could imagine that she was sitting in front of computer to send it to me that time.. so I quickly replied her... and told her.. wah, u really got lots of time huh.. til sent me twice.. hahaha... But I really appreciate it Flo!It brighten up my day... Then I received another card in another email.
Well... I read newspaper this morning.. someone wrote that nowadays people thought that Valentine's Day is too commercialised.. It's the time when seller trying to get lots of money from buyer... hehehe... But it can be done by other ways.. not just buying expensive presents, flowers, chocolates, etc.. but just by sending sms, e-card, and even call to say 'hi' would be much appreciated.. Have you done ur part today??? =D
And it's not just about love.. but friendship too..
I don't have any plan today.. yet.. o yeah.. I remember now.. There is Euro Fun Park near my area's MRT station. I passed by the place yesterday nite... I read in newspaper that they want to attract couples to ride on their big wheel to have a romantic Valentine's day.. kekekeke....
What can u see there in HDB area??? But I heard they will build one later near IR area.. It won't cost cheap but I guess u can have a much better view than this one.. hihihihi... so.. worthed to wait for.. XP
So.. back to the topic.. what have u guys had for today??? How do you spend it w/ ur love one?? As for me.. Everyday is a Valentine's day.. so nothing special about it.. hehehe... but somehow.. something little extra will do.
Enjoy ur day!!!

What future holds???

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. My mind kept thinking on what future holds? How my future will be? Not just me, but also other people. Dunno why, suddenly it appeared on my mind.. that this year is year 2007 and 10 years ago was when I stepped in Swiss for my first time. WOW!!! If I flip my photo album when I was studying there, it seems like it was just happened yesterday.. and not 10 years ago..
It also reminds me the time when I had dinner in Ayam Penyet w/ my sis. The seats behind my sis' seat were occupied by 10 Indo Chinese teenagers. It seems to me that they were all studying here.. perhaps in.. I dunno.. same level as senior high school??? The way they talk each other.. the way they interact.. wow.. I felt so old at that time.. I told my sis.. "I felt like.. I'm far from young now.. I can feel the gap very much!! Amazing!!!" When they talked.. it reminds me the way my classmate talked when we were in school.. which was about 8 -10 years ago.. I can feel that now I have transformed to different phases in life.. Gone are the days when I went anywhere wearing tshirt, jeans, back pack w/ sport shoes.. Now my bag isn't back pack anymore, but change to something else, such as lady's bag, or sling bag.. As for Jeans.. I'm still wearing jeans and tshirt, but kinda different.. Even I can feel the different between 'me' now and 'me' two years ago when I first time joined this company. I felt much younger when I first stepped in to this office. Many people thought I was only 21 or some even though I was still in teens... hahaha...
I was still wearing my back pack when I had a class on that day.. but now.. I've changed it to other type of bag. I just don't feel fit in the age the way I behaved previously. Perhaps I turned myself more mature?? But MOST PROBABLY, like my sis said.. the right thing that turned us to be this way.. is MORE PRESSURE..
When we were in school, we don't worry so much about money.. I mean.. it was our parents who were worrying about us.. And now.. after we graduate.. after we found our job.. everything has changed.. Slowly we stopped depending ourselves from them. As long as we can survive, then it depends on us on how we use our resources and they won't give us anymore.. They can now be free from the weight they had carried for years..
I was thinking last night.. what 10 years ahead will look like?? Will I still live in Singapore? Will I still be healthy? Will I have more lines on my face? How is my economic condition will be? How my parents will be? Will they still be healthy? Many many more questions in my head.. That's why I couldn't sleep..
Some people said.. they're happy go lucky.. live w/ no fear.. live w/ no worry.. live life to the fullest.. throw ur worry and always be happy.. Perhaps that's the optimist thinking of their.. I dunno why I was just so pessimist about lives yesterday.. I was even thinking that I won't be around in this world after 50s.. the most maybe 60s. Then.. if that's the case, don't you think that I've gone through half of my life??? So there is another half of my life left.. I'm sure time will fly very fast.. Just close my eyes now.. another 1o years will come.. Maybe at that time, when I checked this blog again.. *if blogspot still around.. hehehe.. I will start smiling.. and tell my self how true what I wrote here.. hehehe..
Haiyah... sometimes I wonder.. what have I achieved from half of my life here??? I know life can't be measured w/ money alone.. as I don't have much saving and no property at all.. So, if I wanna measure my achievement from money measurement alone, I definitely fail. I regard health as one of the measurement since a good health can't be bought by money. I strain myself from alcohol lately although sometimes I enjoyed it as it brought me away from reality... And I hold the willingness of smoking too 'cos somehow when I look myself in the mirror, I was thinking.. what u can see at the outside hopefully can be as beautiful inside.. which means.. if ur body is so wonderful.. nice shape, smooth skin, flawless, but if inside it ur lung was blackened.. or ur kidney was spoilt, etc... what is the use of it? Not long after, what u can see outside, can't be seen anymore. It will change ur outer layer entirely very fast..
Career's success? I definitely fail as well.. as I never position myself as an ambitious person. Good mother?? I will fail soonafter if I didn't do anything about it.. Perhaps by having family members are still another achievement.. hehe.. I mean.. I still have my parents.. my siblings and their family members.. 'cos again, money can't buy them to stay alive.. And friends! I try myself not to depend myself so much on them. It's not that I don't trust them, but I'm sure they have their own lives too.. I really enjoy to keep in touch w/ people that I've ever known before.. I just hope that they feel the same way too that they enjoy keeping in touch w/ me.. Sometimes when they are in need, hope that I can do something for them..
Hm.. I dunno if what I wrote is still related w/ the topic above.. but what I know was that.. life is too short to live. And perhaps.. always remind ourselves to always live in present time.. and not to worry so much about the future.. Otherwise, we will never enjoy every moment we have now.. Hm.. quite lots to say from my thought today.. Wanna wish all of u having a good day.. and treasure every moment u live..

Reyka Vodka

Knew about this product about half year ago when I was in one of the shops in LV searching for mini Absolute =)

Quite amazed that the name resembles the nickname that I had almost 10 years ago.. I bought the mini one, but I don't know what is the taste like..

Kinda scared to try as I thought it might be so strong.. Hm.. maybe one day.. At the mean time, I'm still sticking to my Abolute for Vodka

Today is Friday.. Wow... that's pretty fast!!! In one week time.. I'm going to fly... And now we can feel the atmosphere of CNY already... Yesterday and today evening my colleague and I were decorating the canteen w/ those CNY ornaments. She bought some and some of us made the rest.. Our dept was chosen to decorate the canteen and to organise the event. Since I won't be present on the celebration day, I could only help them decorating the place.. Hm.. orange.. orange.. lovely and sweet orange... lalala lalala.... Have a great weekend....

The Dart

1. Life is unpredictable and uncertain in this world. It is difficult and brief and bound up with suffering.
2. A being, once born, is going to die and there is no way out of this. When old age arrives, or some other cause, then there is death. This is the way it is with beings.
3. When fruits become ripe, they may fall in the early morning. In just the same way a being, once born, may die at any moment.
4. Just as the clay pots made by the potter have breaking up as their end, so it is with the life of mortals.
5. Both young and old, foolish or wise, are going to be trapped by death. All beings move towards death.
6. They are overcome by death. They go to the other world. And then not even a father can save his son, or a family their relatives.
7. Look, while relatives are watching, tearful and wailing, men are carried off, one after another, like cattle being led to the slaughter.
8. So death and ageing are common to the world. Therefore the wise, seeing the nature of the world, do not grieve.
9. You cannot know a person's path - as to where he has come from, or where he is going. So, it makes no sense to grieve for him when he dies.
10. The man who grieves gains nothing. He is doing no more than a foolish man who is trying to hurt himself.
11. Peace of mind cannot come from weeping and wailing. On the contrary, it will lead to more suffering and pain.
12. The mourner will become pale and thin. He is doing violence to himself, and still he cannot bring the dead to life; his mourning is pointless.
13. The man who cannot leave behind his sorrow only travels further into pain. His mourning makes him a slave to sorrow.
14. Look at beings who are facing death, who are going in accordance with their actions, living, creatures quivering indeed here, having come into the power of death.
15. What people expect to happen is always different from what actually happens. From this comes great disappointment; this is the way the world works.
16. A person may live for a hundred years, or even more, but in the end he is separated from his relatives, and he too leaves life in this world.
17. So, one should listen and learn from the wise man who has given up grief. Seeing that a person has passed away and lived out his life, one should understand, "This person has gone on. He cannot be brought back again by me."
18. Just as one might extinguish the flames of a burning house with water, so too the wise man, skilful, learned and firm, extinguishes sorrow when it has arisen. He lets go of the grief as the wind that blows away a tuft of cotton.
19. The person who is searching for happiness should pull out the dart that is stuck to his chest, the barb of grieving, of desiring, of despair.
20. The person, who has taken out the dart, who has no more clinging, who has obtained peace of mind, has gone beyond all grief. This person, free from grief, is still.

Sutta Nipata vv. 574-593

Overcome anger through kindness,
wickedness through goodness,
selfishness through charity,
and falsehood through truthfulness.

Vetse 223

Cemburu

Cemburu.. apaan itu yah?? hehehe... masih nanya.. belaga gak tao ya?? cemburu itu... itu looohhhh.. susah dijelasin.. tapi sekali ngerasain cemburu.. langsung berasa darah naek ke otak.. panasssss..... jantung langsung berdetak2 kencang... hehehehe... kalo cemburu, artinya kan sayang yah??? artinya cinta juga dong???? wekkkk.... pernah ga dicemburuin? ato nyemburuin pasangan???
sering kali orang cemburu buta.. alias.. yah maen cemburu aja padahal ga tau asal seluk beluk cerita.. hm.. sering kali terjadi apalagi kalo orang yang disuka itu mata keranjang.. hihihihihi.... suka lirik sana, lirik sini gitu lah... padahal dah punya pasangan.. emang sih niatnya bukan jatuh cinta ke orang laen itu.. cuman yah nambah2 kharisma gitu lah... sok keren ceritanya.. kekekeke.... Napa? ngerasa? haihiahiahihaihiaa....
Aiyah... jangan diambil ati yee.. ini cuman lagi iseng aja nulis2 gitu sambil isi waktu luang.. =P
Gw ndiri.. cemburu jelas pernah.. cemburu buta juga pernah.. cuman yang namanya intuisi wanita, bener aja ada kejadian abis itu.. meski cemburunya salah sasaran.. nasib kali ye... Sekarang masih cemburuan juga? Jelas.. namanya juga manusia.. ya ga? kalo ga berasa cemburu, yah heran kali.. nih orang ada emosi ato engga gitu loh...
Eniwei... moga2 aja cemburunya kali ini emang ga ada kejadian apa2.. otherwise... otherwise apa coba????? otherwise.. itu namanya nasib... Hiks.. nasib nasib......

Rabu

Gile, dah hari Rabu booo... tinggal 2 hari lagi, dah weekend.. cepet banget yah? Entar 4D bakalan buka looooo... tapi gw blm beli.. hehehe.. pengen beli sih.. cuman kayanya ga sempet... nitip sapa yah ntar??? Seumur2 beli 4D, ga pernah sekali pun nomor gw keluar.. kekekeke... emang nasib gw gitu kali yee... duit ga bole jatoh gitu aja... harus dicari.. ato ga yah.. dikasi.. hihihihihi... tapi dah gede gini sapa juga yang mo ngasih??? hehehe...
Len ngajakin makan ayam penyet nih entar.. pengen juga sih.. dah lama ga makan.. sekalian mo ngambil barang buat titip ke hk. Kira2 tinggal 10 harian lagi neh gw terbang.. asikkkk.... yah.. abisnya sejak cuti terakhir taon lalu, gw blon cuti2 lagi.. jadi yah.. harap maklum lah ya... hehehe... niat mo beli koper juga blon beli2.. abisnya waktu itu masih milih2 koper mana yang bagus, kuat, tapi ga mahal banget.. yang penting cocok ukurannya en ga berat.. harga nomor dua deh... cuman yah pikir2 kalo beli koper, mo taro mana? rumah dah penuh banget boooo... =(
Ginilah nasib aye.. idup desek2an.. dulu punya sodara 5 tinggal 1 rumah ga pernah berasa desek2 gitu.. yah abisnya ruangannya kan lumayan luas.. ini rumah dah kecil, kudu desek2an pula.. sekarang bersembilan boooo!!! kamar 3 biji. satu kamar 3 orang.. mana samping2an gitu tuh kamar.. ruang tamu ama meja makan aja dah jadi satu saking ga ada tempatnya.. dapur juga kecil.. nasib nasib... ga tau itu kapan tuh orang pindah... dah dingomongin berkali2 juga ga epek.. mo tinggal bareng forever??? kamsia deh... kalo emang niat pindah mah, semua tantangan juga bisa dihadapin.. ini emang ada aja.. maonya yang murah.. yang bagus.. yang strategis.. de el el.. emang keputusan beli rumah ga gampang, kudu mikir panjang.. tapi mo sepanjang mana??? sepanjang jalan kenangan... kita slalu bergandenggg tangaaannn... *malah nyanyi...
ya udah deh.. mo lanjut kerjaan.. sibuk sibuk....

Away

I think I was running away from a reality.. escaping from it..
I completely have no idea on what future is like and how it will look like
So many questions on my head unanswerable.. Always the same questions spin around my head
Someone asked me to keep praying to the above to give me the answers.. instead of sharing it w/ someone else 'cos nobody will be able to help to solve it. I gave it a laugh but I knew I might need it one day. It's been some time that I lose faith to the above. I'm just tired leaving myself and others for being so undecisive. If u were me, and u can't decide, what would you do???

Tired

I'm tired..
Physically tired...
But I can't take a rest yet.. not today.. not tonite.. unless if I absent from the class. But I don't want to skip.. 'cos I don't want to lose any info.
I hope I won't get tired like this anymore..
I just wanna have a rest..
Really have a good rest...

Another busy weekend

I burnt my whole Saturday to be spent w/ my eldest sis. We arrived at the Mt. E hospital at 10am and we headed down to the doctor that my sis had appointment with. My sis were asked to do the test at the other building, to do the CT scan at 2nd level, and when we finished w/ all that, the time has shown 1pm ++ and the doctor had gone back home.. Lucky the receptionists were still there *they were preparing themselves to home too actually, but they helped us to contact the doctor and asked us to wait at A&E for the doctor to come. We waited for about an hour 'til he came and A&E receptionist even asked us to fill up the particular for us to pay another fee for utilising their facility, which is bulls*** for me.. what the heck man!!! We were there to only get an explanation of all the tests that my sis had taken and not to check anything else about her health.. somemore my sis had already spent lots of money in those tests and using the special equipments.. We refused to do that and they gave up eventually after listening to our explanation. At the end, the doctor concludes the result and let my sis to decided to follow his advice or just to let it be.. =)
Wow, we were there since 10am and we only had our lunch *finally.. at 3pm. We went to Bugis to have bakuteh.. We ate slowly and we had a chit chat while eating. Then we went to Bugis temple and Bugis Junction 'til 6.40pm. Waa.. my legs were sooo tiring... I had a drink at food court and sat down there while my sis went around for shopping.. hiks hiks... The journey wasn't end there.. We took a bus from Bugis to Balestier, met up w/ my 3rd sis w/ her friends and had a dinner together at Boon Tong Kee.. And only after we had finished our dinner, then I could go home... kekekeke.... I reached home at 9.15pm. I took a bath, watched tv, then slept... zzz... zzz..
I woke up at 9.50am and took a bath. My son and I went down to Bishan. My two sisters followed in minutes. We met up at S11 and had our nasi lemak there.. nyummy...
We went to J8 after that. My 3rd sis was looking for a gift for my father's bday.. I bought the present as well.. When we finished, my son was doing the colouring w/ my eldest sis.. I don't know how it's called.. He chose doraemon picture and colour it. We chose another pic, which was a bday cake and let him colouring it again. When finished, the b'day cake pic was to be given to my father.. hehehe...
We fetched my eldest sis to airport then we went to Tampines Mall to have a browse. Wah, we kept eating yesterday.. Long John Silver.. McDonalds.. takopachi.. 'til I couldn't take it anymore.. kekekeke.... I brought him to Toys r us, arcade, and his favourite place.. playing seesaw at the playground. I was sitting at the long wooden chair next to it while he was playing around and getting to know w/ some new friends. When we went to bookshop, he also got to know w/ someone new.. hahaha... hm.. not bad ya?? Let him interact w/ people and that's good, isn't it??
We finally went back home and reached home at about 10pm.. what a loooonnnggg dayyy...
I took a bath and ironed my clothes before getting to bed at 11.30pm.. zzz.. zzz... what a tiring day... And now.. I feel soooo sleepy.. Got lots of things to do today.. hiks... Ciao now...

Wow...

Time flies... We have just passed a month in a year.. The new year's eve happened seems just like yesterday.. Wow... it's crazy!!!
What have you done in a month??? What have I done in a month? If reviewing back what have happened in January.. hm.. not much but not less either.. Reever and I have gone back to school life, so do my other friends.. There were few colleagues leaving the company.. I've cut my hair beginning of the month.. Amazingly, just one time having 'Ayam Penyet'.. *I think I normally have it more than once a month.. hahaha... maybe I was too busy doing or eating other things.. or just too bored w/ it if I eat it too often.. =P Central has been opened in mid of the month, but not much things to see or do there... not many people as well.. My sis-in-law gave birth to a baby boy on 23rd.. Attending a two-day training in SNEF.. Met w/ some friends.. etc. And yesterday I just met up w/ my eldest sis, her bos, 3rd sis and we had dinner together in Asian kitchen. So it ended the month officialy.. kekekekke....
I was late to come to work this morning 'cos I woke up a little bit late this morning.. but I really had a nice and good sleep. I woke up in a middle of the nite, went to toilet, and accidentaly dropped the eucalyptus oil from the table and it broke the plastic bottle and the oil just came out and I removed it faster from the floor using tissue. But still, the smell was still very strong and amazingly made me sleep and breath better.. *I didn't even realise that I've turned off the alarm clock. My mother-in-law woke up my son at 7.30am, which also woke me up... but tell u what? Although I just slept for 8 hours, the quality of sleep was much better than two days ago when I had a 10-hour sleep.. Hm.. hopefully tonight I'll have another good quality sleep after having full-body massage... =)