Friday, May 19, 2017

Thank you and see you again...

The day we first met - Xiamen (Oct 2007)

I can't exactly remember when I first met you. It was love at first sight. It was chosen, given as a symbol of His love, to protect me wherever I go in whatever I do, and put in directly in front of me, face to face, and it'd became part of me thereafter.

You were mixed of personalities, colourful, clear, transparent, and opaque, complete with your imperfections with black dots at some parts, but yet clinged very well into my wrist and arm. It made me feeling safe, secure, accompanying my whole traveling and mundane life journey all over the world.

Your sound was loud and beautiful. Many recognised me from your sound. Even without the sight of me. You protected my bones, my skin, from those things I carelessly bumped into.

When you rubbed into my skin, they said you'd improve my blood circulation, making me always in good health, which I have always been feeling grateful with.

Until one day, when rain poured whole day, wetting the sea and sand, trees and flowers, shells and shelters. I walked hand-in-hand with my nephew on the block of wood. Little did I know that the green algae was on surface. It made the whole block slippery.

First, my nephew fell. I helped him getting up. Upon my next step, it was me who fell. As I fell, my left leg kicked the air. I felt it touched my nephew who fell down again for the second time. I felt pain in my butt as it hit that wood strongly. Amongst my unconsciousness, I was reflectively protecting my head from banging hard into the floor surface.

Thank you for being with me (Pic source:

My first reaction was to check that my nephew was alright, especially his head. When I knew he was fine (he could even smile at me), I was relieved so much!!! Suddenly, I saw you lying helplessly, broken into two, with tears flowing on your eyes. Oh no!!! I'd hurt you accidentally. I'm sorry dear!!! I'm sorry...

People said that when you were broken when the owner was falling down, you'd sacrifice yourself to the owner's safety. It also a symbol to ward off the worse thing that was going to happen.

My first feeling knowing that you're gone was impermanence. That no matter how long we'd been together, no matter how we loved and felt comfortable with each other, one day one of us had to be separated, one of us had to die. I put you both together near to the block of wood where you sacrificed yourself and died. I left you there as someone came and immediately offered his hand to help me getting up. The rain was still pouring and it was getting heavier. We had to leave you there as we needed roof to protect us from the heavy rain.

Later on, when I returned back to get you, you'd already been gone. Someone might have thrown you into the bin. Haiz.... I felt sorry not to bury you properly or throw you into the sea to join the nature in a vast world. But you should know by heart that I always and will always feel grateful for your appearance in my life, for accompanying me for these past 10 years to wherever I go, in whatever I do, for keeping me safe and healthy, for your beautiful form and sound, for everything that you'd ever done to me. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!!!

Our last photo together (11th May 2017) - Leebong Island, Belitung, Indonesia 

I would never be able to see you again but you'd always be in my heart, in the memory of my brain. My love for you is real and boundless. May I see you again in my next life...

P.S. This post is written to commemorate my lovely jade bangle, gifted by dad, who bought it in a shop at Xiamen, China, almost ten years ago (Oct 2010) when we visited the country together. He put it directly into my wrist and decided to buy it for me immediately. Later on I always wore it with me day and night, 24 hours a day, until I slipped and fell down at Leebong Island, at Belitung, Indonesia (11th May 2017).

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Would you come back to Bhutan again???

View from my window frame :)

Here I am. As I look out from my window frame, the dream that I used to have, is instantly coming true.

"I want to live where I can see mountains and rivers from my window, fresh cooling air that far from pollution, wooden houses that looks very familiar and homey, the passing-by cows, horses, dogs, where their dungs aren't something to be afraid of, warm sun or sometimes foggy clouds overcome the sky above, and so on," said me to my friend just a month ago.

And now, the view of the Druk Air plane and its flying sound early in the morning, is a bonus.

We can't choose where we were born, but we can choose where we stay. Often times, second or third homes are necessary. Not that I betray where I was coming from. But it's just, those places are really where I feel like home sweet home. Although I can't stay for so long, at least I'm grateful that I'm given a chance to stay in certain period of time.

Amazing Bhutan :)

And what I love about this country, Bhutan, is... there are too much to say, simply feel from the heart.

First and foremost is its people, Bhutanese. I encountered many times during my visit here. Especially when on tour and to place where we did not know anyone or simply to visit a new place. They just asked their friend's friend if they know anyone that could help up with lodging. Amazingly, many would offer their help with their place, more often their humble place, to let strangers to stay for a night. They even provided us with meals (dinner, breakfast, and so on). They also rendered us with any kind of help that we required since we were not familiar with the place.

Life is great with you around!!! Kadinche-la!!! :)

Many Bhutanese would also help sincerely from their heart, and did not expect anything in return. Be it in goods nor money value. Let me share my experience here in Bumthang.

After walking such a distance to visit many holy Lhakhangs, my friend and I was tired and the cold weather made us a little hungry. I was in dire need of a sip of 'ngaja' - Bhutanese milk tea with sugar.

We entered to a general shop, located just at below the junction of the Kurjey Lhakhang. We were asking the young man, the son of the shop owner, if they sold milk tea. He said he did not sell it at the shop. Then perhaps our faces couldn't hide our disappointment. He then asked his Mom, an Angay in her 60s. Later on, he asked us to sit at the wooden chair with table provided inside the shop, as they would serve the tea shortly.  We couldn't believe it at first. "Really??" asked us. "Yes. My mom said she could serve the tea for you," replied him.

Both of us were smiling widely with an extra mile service rendered at this simple provision shop. We browsed the biscuit from the shop's shelf and chose the 'Dry Cake' made in Bangladesh.

Gift from the Bhutanese heart :)

The tea came and they even brought a tin of 'zaw' with it. Angay sat with us and chatted around asking where we were from, what we were doing before this, etc. And when we paid the bill, Angay simply refused the fare for the 2 cup of tea and only accepted money for the biscuit! Yalama... She treated us just like her personal guests. And when she knew we were going home, she asked us to wait for her son and wife as they were going to the same direction. Which means, they offered us a free ride!!! Wow!!! Wasn't it amazing??

And today, I had a walk on my own since my friend had to go to work. I went to the other side of the road and when coming back, I passed by the same shop. It was lunch time and I was thirsty and hungry. I entered and this time, an old man, the young man's father, attended the shop. I was asking him for 'ngaja' again, and using body language that it meant for tea. He said, "Ngaja? Mindu." It means, "Tea? Don't have." 

Hmm... it might not work out this time, I said to my self, since I faced with another person. Still, I went to the rack and chose my favourite 'Dry Cake' again. I took out my purse and pulled a hundred Ngultrum notes and handed it in to him.

My wishes for you...

He saw the biscuit. I guessed he might feel my disappointment. The biscuit would usually be the accompany for tea only. He then asked me, "Ngaja? For one?" In Dzongkha. I interpreted it as he held his finger so that I could understand. I said, "Yes, for one," I replied and showed my finger back to him. He understood. He asked me to sit down - at the same table and chair again, and put back my money and biscuit.

In a while, the same Angay that I met last time coming out and I tried to let her recall that I visited their shop before with my friend. She then remembered. She served me tea and I enjoyed it with the delicious biscuit.  And just like before, they refused to accept my money for tea. Wow!!! Weren't they amazing???

I really salute many Bhutanese who are just like them. Although they open the shop that usually to generate money, not everything is seen in money value. Their sincere heart to give without expecting anything back was something that not many could do in their lives.

Not forgetting this - the reason to go back to Bhutan :P

"So Rima, would you come back to Bhutan again?" asked my friend. With so many kind heart and loving Bhutanese around, there shouldn't be any reasons not to come to Bhutan again, even if I've come here for my forth time now.  The Lhakhangs and the beautiful nature are also my main reasons to visit Bhutan again.

May there will be fate and good karma in the future for me to come here again and again... Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu 

P.S. This post is mainly talking about the stranger who have done an extra mile in offering their kind help and assistance when we need it. So, not including those Bhutanese friends of mine, whom will drive thousand miles to render their love and care for me. You know who you are :)

Monday, April 10, 2017

The Unknown Land

For once I want to disappear, disappear from history, parts of my life journey in this earth. Where people will no longer remember about my existence or recall that this person was ever exist. It will only be the grey shadow as the name is mentioned.

Being the unknown (Pic source:

"Hmm... who?? Which one? Was she part of our community? Hmm... Sorry, I can't recall... I really can't recall..."

So here I am again. The stranger land, place I've never been before. Funnily, it gives me such a familiar feeling, a deja-vu, a feeling as if I was ever coming here before. The bright light, the buzzing sound, the passers-by. A land that never sleeps. People comes and goes, comes and goes... again and again... from different planets, different universe, where the rockets sent them from. They all wear different costumes, different footwears. This must be the place where I'm belong. Where no one knows me, bothers me, cares about my existence.

Alien in wonder land (Pic source:

Here my mind is wandering around. Part of it says, stay here and never go back. Another part of it says, move on and find a new place. The Universe is vast. There must be many other places that look just like this. Where no one will bother about your existence. Where you're the Alien of that new place. Where the adventure begins. Where your physical adaptability will be challenged to a higher level.

Finding where you belong (Pic source:

"Go buddy!" something whispered in my ears. Yeah!!! If not now, then when?? It's a series of looking and moving forward, live with a purpose, a new height adventure. Although it seems looking blur, but it is bright. The unknown future is awaiting to reveal. Pulling forward one step at a time until the new Universe appears and it starts all over again!

Sunday, April 02, 2017

2XU Compression Run 2017

It's been some time since my last blog post. March was filled with lots of books reading (thanks to the opening of the new Sengkang library :P), and morning walks exercise either with friend or alone.

Having fun at MacRitchie Reservoir Park :)

This Wednesday, when I was just about to start my morning walk at MacRitchie Reservoir Park, I received a message from my brother. He was asking me if I was interested to join him to run half-marathon this Sunday. It was free since someone had registered for the run, however, the person could not come to Singapore due to the expensive flight ticket (thanks to the this weekend's Coldplay's concert in Singapore ^^).

Hmmm.... half-marathon. Means, the distance was gonna be 21.1 km. In my life, I'd never tried running that long before. In fact, I knew myself that I could only walk and still manage to hike (although only to certain extent), but definitely not to run. My usual yearly run distance was only 3.5 km. When my friend was asking me to join the 10 km one, I declined almost immediately as I believed that my stamina was not good. I often lost my breath after running for certain distance and easily got tired. My heart would beat too fast until I could not take it. I held that believe since I was very young. So it was quite difficult to break that fear, and barrier that I set upon it into my own self.

I went for cycling in that distance before, but never for running. Even for walking, I was not quite sure. So I was curious how far 21.1 km would be, on foot.

In a crowd before starting :)

My brother was very active in joining this kind of run. He just went for midnight Sundown full marathon last Saturday here in Singapore and finished it in 5 hours and 50 mins. He even went overseas, like to Beijing, Bali, Bandung, etc. to participate in the running events and collected various medals. So I asked him further, if I could not run, and only walk, would I feel shame to be the last one? Haha.... He said, it should be alright as we would be given 4 hours to complete. He then gave me the link of the run for further information.

So last night I went to his house and slept there overnight. The run was scheduled to start at 4.30 am at F1 Pit. I went to bed at 10.30 pm but my brain could not stop thinking about what would happen and what had already happened. Plus the clock's tik-tak sound made me difficult to sleep. Only after doing short period mediation, I was then able to fall asleep (maybe about 30-40 minutes later). And at 3.15 am, I was awoken and got ready.

Three of us took the Uber cab to the nearest stop towards F1 pit and my brother immediately found his friends and colleagues who were also joining. There were so many people lining up towards the Start line and we were the seventh wave in the group and started our run only at 5.22 am.

Became a tourist too :P

Slowly I was separated from my the rest. I ran and walked in my own pace. I realized I learned few things from this run. First, everyone was just doing their best. They ran as they could. It was not really about who was the fastest, but everyone was trying to balance their energy with the distance, the intake (water, sport drink, and banana provided by the organiser), the output (if you chose to visit toilet in the middle of your journey), the strength of their legs, knees, ankles, and so on. Second, fun was definitely a must. I mean, yes we had a goal to achieve, but in order to reach, we should put in some fun and took a necessary rest in between (many stopped for taking photos of the beautiful Singapore sites and keeping the memories with people who they went for the run with).

Quote by Haruki Murakami from 'What I talk about when I talk about running'

Third, the only person you had to defeat in this, was yourself. Because everyone started at different timing, at different wave groups. So you wouldn't know how much they had achieved by the time you saw them. And I guessed it wasn't necessarily important to compete that way, unless you're into a competition that you were aiming to win. Instead, you might want to defeat your own previous record (if you joined such run before), defeat your own barrier that you set upon yourself (just like my own self who only dared to run at 3.5 km distance yearly), and so on.

And when you were in the group, you saw people around you running. You were automatically getting such motivation to run as well. And concentration was required as you had to decide when to continue run and when to just walk while catching your breath. I counted my own pace when walking and running.

The distance should be around 21.1 km :)

Overall, I found that my first experience in half-marathon was pretty good. Thanks to the morning walk exercise that I had during the past few weeks. The breath, the heart beat, the legs works, were in good balance. I finished it in 3 hours and 9 minutes (The photo above was using my phone Apps which might not give a very accurate result. The distance should be around 21.1 km and the timing as I just mentioned). From the 2XU race result, my rank was 3786 out of 6966).

With my sis-in-law and brother. Thank you!!! :)

It was really great experience and thank you for the person who could not attend the run, my brother, and sis-in-law for the opportunity, for the advise given before the run, for answering my doubts and fear before the run started, for accompanying me, and so on. I was glad and never expected to join such run in my whole life, but I finally did. Thank you, thank you, and thank you so much for everything!!!

Glad that I made it! :) Thank you!

Also thank you for the above for listening to our prayers that we had gone through it safely, in good health, great weather (it was almost rain but suddenly stopped), enough energy intake along the way, and the priceless experience and memories in our lives. And the moral support from my beloved one. At least when I died, I knew that I had lived my life to the fullest each and every day, experiencing many things that I wished to do while I was alive. Thank you, thank you, and thank you... May all sentient beings be healthy and happy, free from suffering, and life filled with peace and joy. Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu.

Friday, March 10, 2017

I was once lived in fairy tales

Two lovebirds (Photo source:

Hand-in-hand we walked out from the well-known five stars hotel's located in the heart of Singapore city happily. Just like a newly wed couple who went for honeymoon, our faces were shining brightly.

"Where shall we eat tonight?" he asked.

"Hmmm.... let's go to the Esplanade side. There must be some food stalls over there," answered me.

"Any specific food you want to eat tonight?" 
asked him again.

"Well, any food will taste great as long as you're there beside me," answered me while smiling wide.

"Hahaha.... You ahhh....," he laughed gently while his hand messed my hair.

He was almost two heads taller than me. With height of 1.85m, he was often called 'giraffe' by his fellow friends.

We crossed the road illegally (jaywalking - that's what they called), but no fear, as long he was there beside me.

Bright full moon (Pic source:

Once we reached towards the Singapore river side, "Huaaaaa...... see the moon tonight???" exclaimed me with head pointed towards the sky. "It's very very beautiful, isn't it??" I was so exciting looking at it!

We stopped for a while, treasuring the moments just to enjoy the beautiful moon view up there. The reflection could be seen under the water, made it miraculously beautiful!!!

He extended both his arms towards me from behind, hugged me tight, unwanted to let me go. "It's beautiful dear. Just like you." He rested his chin on my head and tighten his hug. I could smell his perfume clearly from his shirts, a strong yet manly kind of smell, my favorite.

"If only the world stops evolving right this second," told me inside my heart.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too," he replied.

After a while, "Come, let's eat. I start getting hungry now," he said.

"Alright. Me too."

We passed by few makan places and he decided to eat at Asian Thai restaurant. Been away from Asia for few years made him appreciating Asian food more.

"Table for two please," said him to the waiter.

"This way please," replied the waiter while showed us the way towards the two-seat table outdoor. "Is outdoor OK for you Sir?" asked the waiter.

Since it was a cooling night, he agreed to the waiter's suggestion almost immediately. "Yes, it's perfectly fine. Thank you."

He pulled the chair and let me sit gentlemanly. I sat down and he followed. "So? What do your want to order?" asked him. "Hmmm... you decide and we can share our meal," replied me, since he was the one who had the craving towards Asian food. For me, I could get it anytime anywhere here in Singapore.

"One Thai fried rice and one Pad Thai set please," he said his order to the waiter. "And two ice Thai milk tea."

Once the waiter went away, he took my palm that rested on the table. He rubbed it gently and smiled widely with both eyes locked upon my eyes.

Life is colorful and beautiful (Pic source:

We didn't utter any words but our hearts were both filled with happiness. It was our meeting after some time. He decided to continue his Master degree in Michigan and made a stopover in Singapore for two nights before flying back there again. He booked a honeymoon package room, at a luxurious five-star hotel, complete with the bath tub filled with rose petals, Champagne and fresh strawberries at the side, with a beautiful Singapore city skyline as the direct view from it. He just wanted to make this moments, the rare meeting moments special, just him and myself.

I took a cab right from my office away in the afternoon taking a half-day leave from work and headed to this hotel right away, still in my one-piece black office wear and laptop bag on my right shoulder. He was already there inside the room by the time I knocked onto the hotel's door.

After entering his room, as the door was closed, he removed my bag from my shoulder and hugged me tight to make sure if I was real. We were then kissing long enough to compensate all the moments we had missed out throughout the long distance and years he went away. And next, we made love on that fluffy king size bed with slow music from the radio at the background. Oh, he even prepared Victoria Secret's nighties for me to wear, the transparent sleeveless dark red top with red colour thong as a set. He said he'd been waiting his life to see me wearing it. Haha...

And when it's over, he popped the Moet and Chandon and poured it into the Champagne glasses prepared beforehand by the hotel's staff.

Clink!!! "Cheers dear!" said him and we raised both glasses and felt the bubbles passing through our throats. Aaahhhhh.... it was cold and fresh as it was kept inside the wine bucket filled with many ice cubes. He then led me to the bath tub inside the white marble giant toilet. It was big enough for both of us. The water was lukewarm, just nice for us to sink ourselves in. He asked me to go in first then his turn. He sat right behind me so that I could see the view clearly.

Hmmmm.... the water smelled nice!!! Roses petals covered the tub all over and the sand soap was filled in too to create more bubbles. It was exactly like what I often saw in the romantic movies. Never thought I would experienced it myself with my loved one.

The end of the fairy tales

"Dear.. dear... the food is here. Let's eat!!" his voice was awaken me. I faster got back to where I was. Smiling, I rubbed his palm back, "Thank you. Thank you dear for loving me," told me and smiled. "Don't mention dear. You deserved it. Love you, so much." "Love you too dear, so so much..." The night was then spent with more love making in the hotel room, expressing our loves, never ending love...

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Moving on

Another page was flipped over. New leaf was empty and clear. No single dot of ink seen on it. It's a closure and at the same time, a new beginning. Of what? Not sure yet. Life went on anyway.

"Don't force what's not yet supposed to fit into your life quote"

"There is always a first time," the quote rang on my head. It was not your fault and no one else's fault. It's just a mix and unmatched. At least I tried.

Old memories was difficult to forget I guessed. The memory and familiarity was stuck underneath the skin, been part of the body, soul, and mind. So I wasn't alone. Others felt the same too. It was only normal.

Follow what your heart was saying..... always... :)

Well, I wouldn't waste any more time. I'd follow what my heart saying and really go into it. Maybe that's where I was meant to be.

So baby hold me close to you right now
I'm only waiting for you to teach me how
To laugh and cry to live and die
In your arms tonight
So baby show me how to laugh and cry

The world around us is moving so fast
We've gotta live love and try to make it last
From this moment the colour is red
And what my heart wants is one road ahead.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

It was my choice

Rhonda Byrne quote day 365

"You are in the perfect place on your perfect journey. You are right where you are meant to be, because you chose it. In fact, you could not be more perfect than you are now." - Rhonda Byrne day 365

It's just perfectly the right words to boost my spirit up on my first day back to the working life. Like when I looked at it, it was like, I felt that the Universe knew what I was doing everyday and it was always there above me to protect, nurture, motivate, and ensure that things would be alright; that I was exactly at the right direction, where I supposed to be, just because I CHOSE IT. Yes, I chose it...

Something must be forgotten or given up in order to be in this place, unfortunately. But I believed that everything happened only for good reasons, though no one said the journey would be easy, though no one promised the outcome would be good or better, though the path were challenging and rough. Again, it's something I chose over.

We all knew money wasn't everything, not the primary thing to catch in life. It's not that how we wanted to spend our lifetime just to build tower of money that we could see on our olden days. It was still necessary though for us to sustain our day-to-day life, and we had choices on how we wanted to earn it.

We could choose something easier, less stress, but you definitely earned much less. In Singapore, it was tough to find such job. You had to work physically hard (like stand up or moving things around up and down the whole day, do repetitive job and so on), and yet you still earned less. Wanted to earn more, yes you might be able to do so, provided that you worked overtime, which of course in the long run, it would only spoil your health.

Those who earned more would usually face lots of stress at work. It could be caused by the volume of the job (never ending work), the pressure from boss, customers, even public, the limitation of manpower provided as to save cost, the improper planning and collaboration that caused tons of last minute and urgent things, and so on.

There was always pros and contras too on where we chose to work. Those worked at CBD (Central Business District) area, they again would usually earn better, but the cost of meals that they had to fork up everyday, if accumulated, would be back to square one. So some would end up bringing food from home for lunch and eating a pack of economical bread a week plus 3-in-1 coffee to sustain the breakfast. And those who worked at hotel industry, they would usually be quite lucky as the meals were provided. But that also would depend on your luck whether they provided generally good meals or not. There was once where I worked at hotel where they engaged outside catering to cook the staffs' meal but the choices and portions were limited, as they wanted to cut their cost, and I ended up spending most of my breakfast and lunch outside and spending extra money for it.

Confusius quote

After months of taking break and worked in different companies, it was a little bit hard to adjust back to the working life. The nature of your job would make a different too onto the level of happiness that you're expecting to have. Confusius once said, "Choose a job that you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Unfortunately, this would seldom be reality in our life. Who loves to work at the very first place? Do you??? Haha...

I used to run out from accounting subject during my school time although I knew that there was where my strength lies. During high school, I chose Biology over Economics. During college, I chose Hospitality over Accounts. Just thought my siblings had chosen them enough. I should follow another sister to learn something else. At the end, my strength and introvert personality led me back to accounts job. Oh my... I wouldn't say that it was a wrong choice but only accounts people would know why we hated our jobs sometimes, especially towards month end. They would definitely know.

Again, perhaps I put high expectation with my own self and getting the job done was never enough. It should be 'getting the job done and right, to avoid more jobs to rectify the errors.

So this time, I was given opportunity to work a full time job at area that I was keen to learn. It was something related to what I did before although not entirely. Lots of things to learn all over again. And as month end approached, stay back was unavoidable. Just hope things would get better. I hope...

Deep inside, many times I felt like crying and giving up. But looking at other colleagues who had done the job for months, I admired their soaring high spirits. I really wanted to ask them, what made you this way?? Was it no other choice? Was it out of something you really liked? Or you were just simply workaholic? And I too was asking my self, was I too much pampered in life?? So that a bit hardship making me felt like giving up??? Hahaha...

Well, time would tell. But again, IT WAS MY CHOICE, so I wouldn't easily give up and I'd give my self some time to adjust. Let's see how far I would go... May Buddha bless me all the time... :)

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Missing you...

Decades had passed. The memory was still clear on my head. You posted few things on my blog as I allowed you to access as a writer. I was having a grueling schedule towards the upcoming examination and yet you were always be there for me consoling my tiring heart and mind.

Words of wisdom by Renee Wood

Sometimes, I did not even realize when you put those words of wisdom to tell me how much you treasured me, to motivate me walking through my journey in life, and to motivate yourself when you felt tired about what you faced in your real life (work, love, and daily life).

Sometimes you posted song lyrics to express what you felt too, just like the lyrics below:

I can love you like no one can 
I can be your Superman (Superman) 
Just take my hand let's fly away 
I promise I'll be there everyday 
Just close your eyes let's start to fly 
I'm gonna love you until I die (till I die) 
Until the day of my death to my very last breath 
I'm gonna love you when no ones left 

Superman with S on my chest (Pic source:

Come fly with me baby 
Yeah I'm the one 
With the S on my chest 
Forget about your ex 
He don't know what love is 
He just failed the test 
Plus he don't treat you right 
He keeps you crying all night 
See, he's like your kryptonite 
I came to give you their strength 
So you can leave him behind 
You can start all over 
Just press rewind 
Cause he don't understand that you're one of a kind 
So sweet, so sexy and just so fine 
I will fight to my death just to make you mine 
I will never neglect you 
Never have time to stress you 
And always respect you 
Girl you like a hidden treasure 
And I promise to love you 
From now until forever 
O para siempra mija 
te prometo te voy amar
hasta la muerte 

Wow!!! Simply melted my heart!!! :)

Love letter (Pic source:

You were goods at words too, I had to admit, and I just enjoyed every things that you posted. Well, not only from those things you posted there, but also those letters that you used to send me, attached with few surprises with it. You had never failed to brighten up my days. Distance would never be a barrier for us, at all!!!

Happy family photo of yours... (Photo source:

Time went by. It changed your entire life, and mine too. I was happy though because it was all changed for the good reasons only. Looking at your family's photo with two beautiful angels, all posed with big smiles on their faces, made me believe that you went through good days, life after me. And like my friend told me, "No one is irreplaceable." She was right. Life went on, be it with or without me. I wished you all the best, as always, and would always be. Your happiness was my happiness, forever...

P.S. The thought of writing just came up and I realized one thing, that somehow my brain chose to run out from the reality, especially when I was under stress. World of imagination was far more interesting than reality. Anyway, whatever arose, would vanish, and everything led to emptiness for everything in life. So, if we could not face the reality, why not kept living in imagination???

Friday, February 17, 2017

Silly moments

Part of me says (Pic source:

I stopped my reading, put the bookmark in between the page I was currently reading and held my mobile. My thumb pressed into the Facebook apps.

"Silly and playful little girl," written with the photo of a young girl sat down beside her cute dog. "It's fine to be silly and playful at this age," mumbled me, and consequently my mind thought about my own self, "At least not at my age." I sighed and my mind started to wonder.

I only drank a little (Pic source:

The empty beer bottles lie next to me. One, two, three, four, five!!! Oohhh.... five was down. One more to go. I dumped the phone right beside me and tried my best to sit straight, then slowly my two feet tried to find the pair of white hotel's sandals lying next to my bed. My head was spinning. Oh, finally my feet managed to enter to that pair of slipper. However, my brain wasn't quite sure if I had worn them correctly (left or right), couldn't care much anymore.

I got up slowly, opened the room's wooden door. Step by step my feet walked towards the fridge. It's located about 3-meter up front and 3-meter to the left. Even with both eyes closed, I could navigate how to reach that bloody fridge.

Drunk quote (Pic source:

"Ahhhh, here you were!!!" claimed me. I opened the fridge's door and my hand caught the neck of that blue color bottle. "One six six four blanc, hahaha...," I was laughing. "I haven't got drunk yet. I still could recognise the brand of this bottle," mumbled me again.

I picked the bottle cap opener that stuck by magnet at the side of the fridge and "plakkk....." the should of the bottle cap being opened sounded clearly on my ears. I let the cap flung somewhere and anyhow put the opener on top of the kitchen table. With eyes closed, I again walked blindly towards the direction of my room.

Numb (Pic source:

Gluk gluk gluk gluk.... aaahhhhh...... eeerrggghhh..... The sound of beer being drunk with big burping let the big gas out naturally from my mouth. "Hahaha..... who cares?? Who cares about me anymore???" my little mind was laughing inside, trying to do justice towards my own behavior.

It's been like this for the past one week, since the person whom I loved decided to let me go. "It's fine... it's alright... let him go... let him be happy.... this time, happily ever after.... hahahaha...."

Blacking out (Pic source:

Gluk gluk gluk gluk gluk.... this time I drank it longer. The beer spilled from my lips. I brushed it dried using my shirt's right sleeve. Eeerrrgghhhhhhhh....... This time the burp sound got bigger. Hahahaha..... I could feel my self laughing louder... But despite that laughter, I could feel something hurt inside me... That little fragile heart was hurt inside... and those laughter laughed at my own self for being silly, to get drunk continuously in order to forget him... yeah, to forget him... it worked... even for just few hours... even only for a night.... at least I could forget about him..... And slowly I could feel the tears rushing down unto my both cheeks and I could imagine it had turned red and warm, before darkness and heaviness overcame my head. Another day passed by and I overcame it, overcame it....

P.S. I know many writers who could only write when they were drunk. The feeling was only my imagination and based on personal experience. Just had a mood to write about this. Doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood right now :)

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami

The sun had burnt my skin only this afternoon when I shopped for my grocery. And now, as I noticed from my window, the rain was pouring incessantly with lightnings and thunders flashing blatantly from behind the groups of black clouds. Time shown from my Ikea-purchased five-dollar clock hung on my room was only 6.30 pm. I pulled the zip of my grey colour sweater up and increased the volume of my radio to refuse hearing the scary thunder's sound. My all-time favourite song - In the end by Linkin' Park - filled the room in full blast now!

Sitting on my bed, I sipped the chilled Bhutan whiskey - a gift from a special Bhutanese friend - using the Tiger Nest mug - another special gift given by another dear Bhutanese friend. It was no coincidence though. I just felt that the Bhutan whiskey tasted much more delicious when I had it using the Bhutan mug hehehe... 

I continued flipping the next page of my book - Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami"It's more likely a strange weather in Singapore instead," mumbled me. 

Oh, book and whiskey??? How to read and drinking at the same time??? Hahaha... Blame it to the book, or the delicious dried cuttlefish that accompanied the book and the whiskey! Lol! Well, couldn't deny! Three of them was a perfect combination though :P
The Perfect Three - for a not sake but alcohol lover like me :P

"One night when she is drinking alone in a local bar, Tsukiko finds herself sitting next to her former high school teacher. Over the coming months they share food and drink sake, and as the seasons pass - from spring to cherry blossom to autumnal mushrooms - Tsukiko and her teacher come to develop a hesitant intimacy which tilts awkwardly and poignantly towards love."

So that's what were written at the back of the book. See? I told you. There were so many occasions of drinking sake written there, almost all the time. And as an alcohol-lover like me, who could resist? Could you? :P

I wasn't a sake lover though. Otherwise I would have drunk that instead of the Bhutan whiskey I was having.  And alas! The story... despite age differences, it never stopped people from falling in love from each other. It's just... in a different way. 

A once married man in his late sixties perhaps was so gentle and full of charisma, that's what I thought about him. The love that rose between them, was very different with the love that young people had in general.  It was so sweet, tender, and no rush at all. It's definitely a perfect reading book for this month - ya, in case you forgot, Valentine's Day's coming!!! No, it hadn't passed yet, it wasn't in January 14th :P This would be a beautiful gift of love if your loved one loved reading ;) *hint hint...

Oh my eyes were so heavy as I finally turned to the last page of the book one hour later. I had finished three mugs full of whiskey and I took a glance at the empty bottle beside it. Before I forgot, I turned the radio off and quickly sent a We Chat message to my Bhutanese friend to send me more when there was someone coming over here. 

After removing my contact lens and brushing my teeth, I walked half-flying towards my bed. I secured myself below the comfortable blanket and turned off the bedside light. Soon my world was dark, and only darkness accompanied me... peacefully... comfortably... Deep inside I wished that I didn't have to get up the next day... didn't have to get up...

"In loneliness I have drifted this long way, alone. 
My torn and shabby robe could not keep out the cold. 
And tonight the sky was so clear
it made my heart ache all the more." 
(Poem by Seihaku Irako - from Strange Weather in Tokyo)

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Happiness is within

It's raining again today. The black and white clouds covered most of area in Hong Kong today. I slipped my both hands inside my sweater's pocket. It could connect inside and keep my body warm.

Caramel Machiatto Starbucks (Photo source:

I walked to the nearest Starbucks and ordered the Grande size of Caramel Machiatto. I picked a seat that facing the road outside. The height of the wooden table was comfortable enough to hold my both elbows that held the cup tightly. Hmmmm.... nice and warm mug. It's all what I needed now.

White moustache ^^ (Photo source:

I sipped the top part and the print of whipped cream sticking to my upper lip, I noticed from the clear glass's reflection. Haha.... I laughed to myself looking at that as it reminded me of the good ol' times I used to have. I took a selfie before wiping it off with a serviette.

A laughing young couple walked hurriedly holding an umbrella. As they were teasing to each other, the guy touched the girl's nose lightly and smile appeared on her lips.

Love is all around ^^

The old couple walked by with again umbrella covering their head, this time was in slower pace. Once they reached the roofed area, the old man took a handkerchief from his pocket and dried the old lady's hair that was wet from earlier walk. Hmm.... how sincerely cared that old man, my thought was saying.

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

How every single promise I'll keep
'Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then that's all

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent
just for me and I know I'm meant
to be where I am and I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

I'm gonna be by her side when she needs it most...

I smiled again and took a very deep breath. Hhhmmmpphhhh..... This song... this song reminded me of his words. The words that used to comfort my heart and soul. The promise said for all the future to come. Where was he now? I wondered.

No no, no envy to both couples, not at all... I was happy this way. Being all alone physically did not mean being lonely. Happiness was within. It appeared as and when I wanted it to be. Happiness was all inside me. Don't be mistaken with my presence of being alone or with my silence.

I spoke less as I observed more.
I spoke less as I listened more.
I spoke less as I wrote more.
I spoke less to avoid speaking wrong words.

I loved this peace of mind.
I loved the quietness in me.
I loved the me-alone time.
I loved the content and gratitude feelings inside me.

I might appear young, even like kids sometimes.
But I knew what I was doing every second and minutes of it (well, perhaps not when I drank too much hehe...).

I finished the last sip of my coffee and got up. I held my feet to the supermarket nearby this time, heading to the wine area and picked a three-bottle at promotion price from the shelf. Oh my!!! How I wished they sold this price in Singapore!!! 3 for HKD 208!!! What a steal man!!! Walked away with it, I headed home with a light heart... a very much light heart...

Be kind (Photo source:

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I'll keep
'Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

"What to eat in Jakarta???" - Part 4

Happiness is eating :)

Read the previous posts on "What to eat in Jakarta?" - Part 1, part 2, and part 3.

13. Satay Khas Senayan - offered varieties of local Indonesian food. I told my childhood friend to enter to this restaurant as I'd love to eat more local food rather than foreign ones.

Delicious rice set at Sate Khas Senayan - Jakarta :)

From its name, this place was famous for its satay or meat skewers. Senayan itself was name of the place in Jakarta. Other than satay, they offered varieties of delicious rice set and many other local food. I ordered Nasi Kuning or yellow rice set at IDR 57,000 or SGD $6, while my friend had Nasi Bakar Ayam or grilled rice set with fried chicken at IDR 62,000 or SGD $6.50. We shared a plate of chicken satay at IDR 55,000 or SGD $5.80. I had Jus Alpokat or avocado juice at IDR 32,000 or SGD $3.40.

The price was reasonable for the quality and quantity of the food served. It's a good place for those who wanted to try local dishes at restaurant standard.

Address: Bay Walk Mall Lt. 3 Unit 6, Jl. Pluit Karang Ayu I Blok B1, Jakarta Utara

14. Bakmie Abadi - Chicken Noodle (rubber noodle). Hahaha... It's only my saying - rubber noodle - because the texture of the noodle was thick and little bit hard to bite. However, it tasted delicious although it only contained chicken meat, noodle and accompanied with vegetable soup.

Bakmi Ayam Abadi - Jakarta

The price was around IDR 32,000 or SGD $3.40 per bowl. A bit expensive but the portion was big enough to make you feeling full.

Address: Jl. Pluit Karang Timur Blok O8 No. 63, Jakarta Utara

15. Mie Tek Tek - road hawker fried noodles. It used to hang around our house complex. Tek tek tek tek..... That's how it sounded with kerosene light brighten the cart so that the seller could see and cook its food well.

Mie tek tek - Jakarta :)

Other than yellow noodle, they sold also vermicelli noodle, kway teow noodle, and fried rice. After done, crackers and pickles were given at the side to make it more delicious :) At only IDR 12,000 or SGD $1.30 it could fill your stomach!!! ^^

16. Delicious Bakmi Pangsit or wanton noodle at Bakmi Pinang Sari. It's chicken noodle but they're using pork oil in the noodle that made it fragrant and delicious!!!

Bakmi Pinang Sari - Jakarta 

As I mentioned before, noodle was the staple food that suited any time. Be it breakfast, lunch and even dinner. It's been my favourite food since each place offered different types of noodles, meats, and definitely different taste! :) Bakmi pangsit was sold at IDR 36,000 or SGD 3.90 it was a bit expensive but worth having!!!

Address: Jl. Pinangsia Timur No. 1, Jakarta Barat 11110

Those were what I had during my 9-day trip in Jakarta. I could have eaten more but it was great enough for me :)

Martabak keju and martabak telor :D

More things for you to try like martabak coklat keju (special pancake with chocolate and cheese), martabak telor (egg pancake with spring onion and pickles), assorted local kueh (cakes and desserts), and so on.

Just ensure to try as many local dishes as possible during your stay in Jakarta!!! Write 'til here. Hope you enjoyed reading it and know what to eat next on your stay in Jakarta!!! :)

Saturday, January 21, 2017

"What to eat in Jakarta???" - Part 3

Enjoy your food quote :) (Pic source:

Read more on what to eat in Jakarta day 1 here and day 2 here :)

9. Bakwan Bakso from the roadside hawker. Bakwan was fried wonton skin and bakso was beef ball. It was usually served with yellow noodle or rice vermicelli, bean sprout, chye sim (green vegetables), salt, sweet soya sauce, chili, fried onion, and spring onion.

Eating bakwan bakso on the roadside ^^

When I was young, my sis and I used to secretly buying and eating it. The vendor would pass by our house and we would call him to stop. We took the bowl from our house (for hygienic reason) and let him fill the content inside. Why secretly? Because our dad did not like to see us eating it. It's not nutritious and hygiene, he said. :P

That's why I seldom ate it. This time we ate because Mom wanted it first and I just followed her accordingly :D It's a roadside hawker so we ate it on the roadside, sitting on the footpath and used plastic chair as a table. Hahaha.... That's what I loved about eating roadside food. So if you happen to go to Jakarta, try it!!! It's nice and cheap!!! And you couldn't find the same taste elsewhere. Two bowls as per shown in the picture above only cost us IDR 12,000 or SGD 1.30!!!

10. Bakmi CapCit (17). I've visited this stall since I was still in primary school. It was first visited by my elder sisters' generation and the first place I knew that served a sweet noodle (bakmi manis) by adding sweet soya sauce into it.

Bakmi CapCit (17) - Jakarta

It used to be sold by one Uncle originated from Belitung but he passed away two years ago and since then onwards his son continued the business. The taste was still the same and I used to eat a lot, like 1.5 bowls of noodles added with 5 pcs of wonton hahaha.... But not anymore lah!!! ^^ Forgot the price details but should be around IDR 24,000 or SGD $2.50 to IDR 27,000 or SGD $2.80 per bowl.

Address: Lapangan basket Jl. Pluit Putri Dalam, Jakarta Utara

11. Nasi Padang. Padang was a town located at West Sumatera. They cooked delicious spices meat, vegetable, and chili. This was another recommended food to eat if you visit Jakarta. If you ate at the restaurant, don't be surprise when so many plates would be served in front of you with so many varieties of delicious food. You didn't have to finish all, just took what you wanted and they would charge you accordingly. Eat it with your hands as they would serve a bowl filled with water and lime to wash your hands before and after meal. Add the green chili oil!!! And eat it with hot steamed rice! Hmmmm... nyummy!!! :)

Nasi Padang Kasih Bundo - Pluit, Jakarta

Usually we ate at Sinar Minang at Gedong Panjang but this time dad told us that the restaurant in the photo above had just been opened not long ago and they served a package meal containing rice with chicken and vegetables at IDR 25,000 or SGD 2.70 with free egg or perkedel (potato croquet). However, the promo was over. So we packed home rice with meat and vegetables on our choice.

Price list from Kasih Bundo Nasi Padang

I ordered beef Rendang, egg Balado, with rice and vegetables at IDR 38,000 or SGD $4 while rice with Opor chicken and vegetable at IDR 26,000 or SGD 2.80. Too bad the chicken size was too small. Not much meat in it. My mom said that they used chicks instead of usual chicken kekeke... and the beef Rendang was hard too. So we decided to still go back to Sinar Minang next time instead of patronising this one.

12. Sop Kaki Kambing H. Soma at Pejagalan. Sop kambing or mutton soup was another must eat food in Jakarta. Usually opened in evening time around 6pm, once the sky turned dark. They set up the tent outside people's house or shop, or otherwise rented an empty land. Cars would be parked on the roadside just nearby the tent area.

Sop Kambing or mutton soup Bang Soma :)

This was one of my family's favorite stalls. There were few others serving different type of soup. Once you reached, you had to choose what you wanted. The small cut and boiled mutton meat, tongue, legs, brain, etc. had already been prepared in a big stainless steel bowl. Choose what you want and put them into the ceramic bowl. 1 pc of meat and tongue cost IDR 8,000 or SGD $0.85, while the leg cost double at IDR 16,000 or SGD $1.70 each.

I chose 2 meats, 1 tongue, and 1 leg with half plate of rice. The soup contained coconut milk and usually at end the seller would add a spoon of margarine to enhance the soup taste. We had it with pickles containing cucumber, carrot, chili, and red onion. Just be aware that this place had lots of mosquitoes, so wear long pants whenever possible to avoid being bitten by it!!!

Address: Jl Pejagalan 1, Jakarta

More food to come. Stay tune! ;)
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