Sunday, April 26, 2015

Beautiful view from Singapore Botanic Gardens

Singapore Botanic Gardens

It's a beautiful day! My friends and I were blessed with a very pleasant weather this morning despite all the heavy rain and hot sun that basked Singapore these past few days.

Reflection of the sun and the swan from Eco Lake - Botanic Gardens

Swans in pair - Botanic Gardens

We had a wonderful morning walk and captured many gorgeous nature's view from all over the place there. Share with you more pictures here on my blog post!

Live and breath - Botanic Gardens

Nature = Happiness - Botanic Gardens

YOLO - You Only Live Once. What are you waiting for???

Do Good and Be Good - What goes around comes around

Well, that's about it! There were much more beautiful scenery there but I'd just share with you the above. Hope you enjoy and wish you have a great day!!! :)

Have a great day! From Singapore Botanic Gardens :)

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Reminiscing our past

Oh, my heart was blooming that Friday evening when he called and asked me if I were free that night. He said he would take a half day off so that he could bring me to eat our favorite dating food, Changi Village Nasi Lemak, at our first romantic dating place, Changi Beach Park, then he would drop me at Loyang Toa Pek Kong, a local temple to pray, while he would fill up the tank at the nearby petrol kiosk.

It'd been quite some time since we both were able to date together. Our working schedules made it even difficult to meet, couldn't even dream to date. So I cherished the moments we had together reminiscing how we both dated together for the first few times at these area, enjoying the same good ol' local food purchased from the same stall.

We sat at the bench facing the sea. It was a nice windy night. We sat facing each other opening our nasi lemak wrapper and started enjoying our meal. We chit chatted while eating, about anything that happened recently. The sugar cane drink quenched our thirst, replacing beer and green tea that we used to have before. While the rest, was almost the same with what we had more than a decade ago.

Our first dating place - Changi Beach Park :)

The topic of our conversation had changed tremendously though compared with years ago. We had known each other much better this time. Our life philosophy had changed. Although we were both going to face life changing moments in our lives, we still based our importance and priority in love - to be happy.

Happy here didn't mean we lived a lavish lifestyle, ate out in posh restaurant every single week or even days, possessed branded bags, clothes or even shoes reflecting how well we did in our lives.

Happy here was more on the realization how we were able to live and survive with the little things that we had, more importantly be grateful with what we had, felt calm and peaceful no matter what decisions we both were going to make as we knew what were our priority in life.

We were able to continue living with simplicity, enjoying lives with our head held high, watching the stars on a dark sky above us. That too, gave us calm, happy, and peaceful feeling. No amount of money required to be happy that way.

And the day after we went out again to the other dating place we used to go. Supper Char Kway Teow and Chicken Chop at Ang Mo Kio S11 coffee shop, and continued with another stars gazing at Seletar Reservoir.

Time went by. Changes took place unknowingly, without us realizing it. However, our minds were filled with so much gratitude, that even after so many years, we were still who we were, with our simple minds, never aimed too high, and never fell too below. Just like Buddha's teaching, stay and walk in the Middle Way.

We both went back home with full hearts and stomach. Although not much words being said, we both understood that we were both contented with what we had and would continue doing so.

I took many photos together. Let this be our memorable moments forever. As we all know, getting into a marriage is easy; but not easy to maintain and enjoy each and every moment of it. Therefore, I treasure our fate being together and this below quote fit both of us very well:

Our dating place at Seletar Reservoir :)

Monday, April 13, 2015

I want my smile back!!!

Since the beginning of the year things weren't going that smooth. One thing led to another. I almost thought I was over stress and even depressed.

I thought everyone was busy with their lives and wouldn't have time to listen to me. Or I was afraid that no one understood how I felt. I was almost convinced that all the burden would all be mine.

In such situation it brought myself into a low and negative feeling. Whatever I saw, I heard, and I thought, it all seemed so bad, so negative, and I even found myself complaining most of the time.

I really tried to be a Super Hero, attempting to solve all my problems by myself, which made me thinking so much, looking old and grumpy!!! Uuuhhhh......... :(

Until one day, I started opening myself up, first to my dear Mom. Although I knew I wasn't the closest one in a mother-daughter relationship with her (I had four siblings to fight the love and attention with), but I knew she would listen to me.

That afternoon, the words just flew smoothly right from my heart. She wasn't in a good health, but she was able to empathize me, on what I encountered. She even supported my decision and took side in me.

I shared my burden with my closest sister too. She wasn't only listen to me, but also try consoling me on giving suggestion, support, and alternative on what I should do.

As for my hubby, we met less often ever since he chose to work at night shift. We only met mostly on weekend, and that too, with limited time as he woke up late and had to take a nap before starting his work.

We communicated daily through the phone though but I tried not to burden him with my problem, until one day when I couldn't bear it anymore and briefly told him my situation.

He, just like others, wasn't only listen to me, but also console me, give me his support towards my decision. He told me back on what I always told him when he was feeling down before; that life is short; that we always think on what happen 20-30 years later. But with such thinking, we wouldn't be able to live our life fully in present time.

That's what I love about our relationship. We both supported one another. When one felt down and blue, the other would remind back the value and our purpose in life. We reminded and supported each other morally. I was really touched until tears dropped from my eyes while we were talking on the phone.

Recently I shared with him too about the sudden loss of my friend's younger sister, whom I knew and visited when she was warded in hospital few years ago due to autoimmune disease, worked pretty similar with what I had. Her departure was too fast! I even still chatted with her before my Facebook was deactivated. With the impermanence in life, I valued the present life even more and start planning on what I'd do next.

I thought again over the weekend. At first I thought of becoming a villain. But as I recalled on how I started it all, it brought me to feel immense gratitude towards it and how unkind I would be if I had to part that way.

I want my smile back!!! :)

In the end, I decided to be kind and be good, not only to others, but most importantly to myself. Because at the end, what goes around will go around. If I don't want to be treated that way, I'd better not to act that way.

With this I also learnt not to make decision when having an awful mood and emotion. My conscience didn't agree with it. That's why I keep thinking again and again until I reached the decision that made me feeling calm and peaceful.

I believe everything happens for a reason. Although the future is unclear (who will ever able to be sure about the future, anyway), I have only a simple hope that all my dreams in life will come true: that I will live my life with no regrets.

I also believe that with positive mind, I'll be able to conquer it all. As I have decided on what to do, I hope I can get myself back, let my smile appearing again, be kind, and be grateful towards everything, as I used to be. Let's pray and may things go smoothly! Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu... Swathi Hothu. Nammo Buddhaya.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Drown into the deep thought

From afar I heard the incoming MRT sound. I immediately closed my book, walked one step behind facing the MRT door, and got myself ready to ambush the entrance door, together with many passengers doing the same standby pose right behind me.

Slowly I felt the gust wind and howling sound approaching me. As the train came near, I could see many seats had been taken by passengers who boarded one station before this and left us with only RESERVED and limited seats available in each cabins.

Tsk tsk… It’s Singapore after all. From outside I could only pray, hoping that I could grab the seat and continue reading my book until I reach my destination.

When the door opened, I let the passengers to go out first. But usually, before the crowds ended, I would try to squeeze at the side, trying to enter into the cabin. Ha-ha… Because when it’s too late to enter, all the limited seats would have all been occupied and I’d go out and wait for another train to come.

But today, I could get a very good seat (location)! Lucky me! Pheww………..!

"Dreaming is believing"

As I sat down, I adjusted my bag comfortably and started reading back to where I stopped just now. My eyes were sticking into the printed wordings. However, my brain was thinking about other thing that bothered me for the past few months. The scenario played over and over again in my head, as if I was preparing  for a drama rehearsal, making my head swirling while all these thoughts were purely imagination, not happening yet.

But in fact, I was quite enjoying it.

It just went on and on. Sometimes I realized that my eyes were opened, stuck at the same lines, same paragraphs. The lights were there shining bright; the opening and closing door sounds in the background, and announcement on each station was murmuring behind. The person who sat next to me, or few seats next to me, changed into one another. But it didn’t stop my thought, only my reading. I felt like being hypnotized with my own thought.

Ahhh… let’s try again! This time, I followed the wordings slowly, very very slowly. As expected, within a while, I started asking myself, “Who was that again? Why she did that?”  as I tried recalling what I read before that. Then the mind would start wandering around again, back to another scenario, another drama script. Oohhh….. why oh why??? 

This time I chose to close the book and rest my eyes, and my brain, into a sleeping mode. However, as soon I closed my eyes, I heard the background announcement, “Next station… Clarke Quay…” 

Alamak!!! Didn’t realize that I was thinking too much, almost during the whole journey! When it stopped, I got up and left the cabin hurriedly and back into the real life again. Yes, a real life!!! Then I remembered that it’s Friday again! Oh, God!! Thank God It’s Friday!!! I’d have plenty of time to think over again and again… hahaha….

Have a wonderful weekend! :)

Oh well, happy Friday guys!! Wish all of you have a wonderful weekend with your loved ones – families, friends, or even just with yourself!!! And please, don’t think too much like me. It’s reserved only for me now. Hehe… Well, take care everyone! And enjoy your life to the fullest!!! :)

P.S. Sorry I can't tell you what I was thinking. To be announced one day! ;)

Friday, April 03, 2015

Catch a glimpse of Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station (1932 - 2011)

View from the roadside - Tanjong Pagar Railway Station - Singapore
The facade of Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station
"Lock kiss on your lips,
tight hugs with my arms.

Heavy steps 
right through the train door.

Find your seat 
close to the window.

From outside,
I can see your shadow.

Smiling wide,
hiding your sorrow.

Engine moves,
so does your carriage.

Wave our hands goodbye,
'til we both disappear."

The interior hall of Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

Used to be the Ministry of Tourism hall at Tanjong Pagar Railway Station

The beginning and the end of the journey - Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

Platforms on left and right - A place full of memories at Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

Twist and turn of the railway at Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

The empty platforms at Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

Keretapi Tanah Melayu - the left signage of Malayan Railway at Tanjong Pagar or Singapore Railway Station

"Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean,
'til we meet again!"

Walking through the missing railways, gone are all the beautiful memories
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