When things happen, especially when major problems arise, there are 4 attitudes or 4 levels to handle them.
First, is to face it.
Second, is to accept it.
Third, is to settle it.
And fourth, is to let it go.
When any problem - especially a serious problem - arises, avoiding it is useless. The best course of action is to face it. After facing it, you will have to accept it. The problem will still remain even if you do not accept it.
After accepting the problem, it is well and good if it can be settled. However, if can't, the mere act of facing it and accepting it is equivalent to having it settled. You may feel upset, distressed or aggrieved, thinking of the problem all the time. At this juncture, you are unable to continue walking down the path you are currently taking. However, another path appears, and you should take this opportunity to let go of the problem. After anything happens, you should let go of the problem after settling it.
If we cannot appreciate the accomplishments of others, we cannot be moved. Jealousy will thus arise. Those who speak dismissively of the accolade and honours received by others can never go far. It would be a good thing if one is able to appreciate and marvel at the accomplishments of others as well as be moved by the honours they receive. This is called thinking of being on par with the able and wise.
When praising others, we also hope to learn from them. While appreciating others, our actions stimulate others to appreciate these touching incidents or people. In terms of our living environment, this has a positive effect on us, the person involved as well as the people around us.
Life is full of sorrow and happiness, ups and downs. I create it as some kind of day-to-day life into words. Just to release what I feel.. although not completely what I really feel :)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Want and Need - source from the same Author
To 'want' is a painful thing; to 'need' is a joyous thing.
Only a fine line separates 'want' and 'need'. Sometimes, what we want is not what we truly need. Indeed, there are many things that I want to have, but after careful consideration, it may not be a must to have them.
To need is not a sin; to want is not entirely a sin either. If I were to want something and upon getting it, share it with those who need it, then it is the need of others and not mine. Of course, I am allowed to want something that 'I should have'. What does this mean? It simply means that it is something that I can expect to have.
For example, do you deserve to have the salary you are getting? Many people do not consider factor like their abilites, positions and the general environment. They strongly crave for what is not allowed, and this becomes something of great distress to them.
The problem with people is that they want too much but do not really need a lot. Wanting too much will result in insatiable greed, making one a slave to material goods and plunging one into the abyss of suffering.
Only a fine line separates 'want' and 'need'. Sometimes, what we want is not what we truly need. Indeed, there are many things that I want to have, but after careful consideration, it may not be a must to have them.
To need is not a sin; to want is not entirely a sin either. If I were to want something and upon getting it, share it with those who need it, then it is the need of others and not mine. Of course, I am allowed to want something that 'I should have'. What does this mean? It simply means that it is something that I can expect to have.
For example, do you deserve to have the salary you are getting? Many people do not consider factor like their abilites, positions and the general environment. They strongly crave for what is not allowed, and this becomes something of great distress to them.
The problem with people is that they want too much but do not really need a lot. Wanting too much will result in insatiable greed, making one a slave to material goods and plunging one into the abyss of suffering.
Accepting with Calmness and Facing Up with Gratitude - taken from the same Author
As the saying goes, 'wisdom comes from experience', there are many things to be learned as well as incidents to be encountered in a lifetime. Whether in smooth-sailing or difficult times, in periods of satisfaction or dejection, the attitude one holds and the choices one makes when faced with problems will determine the success or failure of one's life.
An elder once said: 'Life is like a song, complete with joyous and resounding pitches as well as melancholy and deep tones. Only these rising and failing musical notes can together form a touching and melodious song of life.' Hence we should 'accept with calmness and face uwith gratitude' when confronted with all the all the adversities of life, mustering all our courage to improve so as to better ourselves and march towards success.
'A Change of Heart Brings About A Change in Attitude'
All people will inevitable meet up with problems and bottlenecks in their lifetime. Some can face up to them courageously and get over them smoothly, while others choose evasion and often find themselves in a state of frustration and setback.
'Attitude changes with a change of heart; actions change with a change in attitude; personality changes with a change in actions; life changes with a change in personality'
As long as we are positive, optimistic and proactive in life and work, any problem can be overcome, or at least reduced, in its capacity for damage. Avoiding the problem will not make it disappear but rather cause it to grow.
Start From Setting Goals:
What must be done to acquire the ability to think positively??
One should start from setting goals in daily life and work. Confucius once said: "One who does not think ahead will face up with problems in the near future." By setting life and work goals, with the knowledge that one will be able to get closer to them through overcoming problems faced, one will be able to face up to problems with courage.
On the other hand, one can divide an important task or life goal into smaller, less difficult portions and complete them step by step. In this way we can constantly encourage ourselves through the face that 'persistent effort leads to success'.
E.g. by being disciplined and engaging in slow jogs and brisk walks daily, one can cultivate a positive attitude towards life as well as keeping fit. Or one can allow oneself to experience a sense of accomplishment and meaning after completing a task, finishing a book or getting to know a friend.
In this way, one will gradually develop a positive mentality and be able to face up to difficulties with courage.
An elder once said: 'Life is like a song, complete with joyous and resounding pitches as well as melancholy and deep tones. Only these rising and failing musical notes can together form a touching and melodious song of life.' Hence we should 'accept with calmness and face uwith gratitude' when confronted with all the all the adversities of life, mustering all our courage to improve so as to better ourselves and march towards success.
'A Change of Heart Brings About A Change in Attitude'
All people will inevitable meet up with problems and bottlenecks in their lifetime. Some can face up to them courageously and get over them smoothly, while others choose evasion and often find themselves in a state of frustration and setback.
'Attitude changes with a change of heart; actions change with a change in attitude; personality changes with a change in actions; life changes with a change in personality'
As long as we are positive, optimistic and proactive in life and work, any problem can be overcome, or at least reduced, in its capacity for damage. Avoiding the problem will not make it disappear but rather cause it to grow.
Start From Setting Goals:
What must be done to acquire the ability to think positively??
One should start from setting goals in daily life and work. Confucius once said: "One who does not think ahead will face up with problems in the near future." By setting life and work goals, with the knowledge that one will be able to get closer to them through overcoming problems faced, one will be able to face up to problems with courage.
On the other hand, one can divide an important task or life goal into smaller, less difficult portions and complete them step by step. In this way we can constantly encourage ourselves through the face that 'persistent effort leads to success'.
E.g. by being disciplined and engaging in slow jogs and brisk walks daily, one can cultivate a positive attitude towards life as well as keeping fit. Or one can allow oneself to experience a sense of accomplishment and meaning after completing a task, finishing a book or getting to know a friend.
In this way, one will gradually develop a positive mentality and be able to face up to difficulties with courage.
Happiness - source: same author
Happiness is the unification of the material and spiritual:
1. The hearts of ordinary mortals change with the surroundings. A comfortable environment is the foundation for generating happiness. Things like career success, harmonious family, etc lend credence to the fact that happiness requires a material base.
2. Happiness is felt through the heart; only with a healthy frame of mind can there be happiness. When one is in a bad mood, even if he is an emperor with the world's power, status and wealth at his disposal, he will lead a very unhappy life.
Happiness and misfortune are both affected by the law of cause and effect.
To have a happy life, one has to:
1. Not sow the seeds of misfortune, i.e. to free oneself from the causes of life's misfortunes
2. Sow the seeds of happiness as much as possible. By performing more good deeds such as cultivating the 10 virtues etc. and tapping on sources of life's happiness, one can obtain boundless happiness
Everything in this world has its cause and effect. According to the Buddha Dharma: 'To know the seeds of the past, just look at what one receives in this life. To know the effects in the future, just look at what one does in this life.' Hence, besides working hard on normal days, one has to cultivate virtue as well.
A famous saying in China goes: 'One should only help people in dire need and not those who are poor.' What is the principle behind these words? Poverty is the seed of the past. To be wealthy in the present life, one has to first repent for one's karmic hindrances; second, to endure the effects of the present; and third, to cultivate virtue and work hard.
'Happiness is a feeling. A person is only happy when he thinks he is; on the other hand can you say he is happy if he does not think he is happy? Being content is an inexpensive way to attain happiness. A person of insatiable greed will not feel happy or content no matter how much his wealth and how high his status is, while one who is content can derive happiness and contentment from the simplest material standards. The goal to build a happy life is only in the heart and cannot be in the hand; sometimes actions do not require a reason'
THE ABILITY TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS
Every one of us has the ability to achieve happiness. The question lies in how we open our hearts, avoid pain, overcome mental obstacles, as well as practise morality, concentration and wisdom. Practitioners of ability are able to harness desire into their practise, achieving peace and compassion as well as enjoying true happiness, making life full of meaning.
'The aim of life is to pursue happiness, while the pursuit of happiness can allow us to better enjoy life. Happiness can be achieved through heart and mind training. Returning to pure happiness, harnessing the strength from deep within the heart and not being affected by external factors will enable us to understand the current situation and be content with what we have'
1. The hearts of ordinary mortals change with the surroundings. A comfortable environment is the foundation for generating happiness. Things like career success, harmonious family, etc lend credence to the fact that happiness requires a material base.
2. Happiness is felt through the heart; only with a healthy frame of mind can there be happiness. When one is in a bad mood, even if he is an emperor with the world's power, status and wealth at his disposal, he will lead a very unhappy life.
Happiness and misfortune are both affected by the law of cause and effect.
To have a happy life, one has to:
1. Not sow the seeds of misfortune, i.e. to free oneself from the causes of life's misfortunes
2. Sow the seeds of happiness as much as possible. By performing more good deeds such as cultivating the 10 virtues etc. and tapping on sources of life's happiness, one can obtain boundless happiness
Everything in this world has its cause and effect. According to the Buddha Dharma: 'To know the seeds of the past, just look at what one receives in this life. To know the effects in the future, just look at what one does in this life.' Hence, besides working hard on normal days, one has to cultivate virtue as well.
A famous saying in China goes: 'One should only help people in dire need and not those who are poor.' What is the principle behind these words? Poverty is the seed of the past. To be wealthy in the present life, one has to first repent for one's karmic hindrances; second, to endure the effects of the present; and third, to cultivate virtue and work hard.
'Happiness is a feeling. A person is only happy when he thinks he is; on the other hand can you say he is happy if he does not think he is happy? Being content is an inexpensive way to attain happiness. A person of insatiable greed will not feel happy or content no matter how much his wealth and how high his status is, while one who is content can derive happiness and contentment from the simplest material standards. The goal to build a happy life is only in the heart and cannot be in the hand; sometimes actions do not require a reason'
THE ABILITY TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS
Every one of us has the ability to achieve happiness. The question lies in how we open our hearts, avoid pain, overcome mental obstacles, as well as practise morality, concentration and wisdom. Practitioners of ability are able to harness desire into their practise, achieving peace and compassion as well as enjoying true happiness, making life full of meaning.
'The aim of life is to pursue happiness, while the pursuit of happiness can allow us to better enjoy life. Happiness can be achieved through heart and mind training. Returning to pure happiness, harnessing the strength from deep within the heart and not being affected by external factors will enable us to understand the current situation and be content with what we have'
Nice guy finish last? - taken from the same author
More and more research has shown that personal popularity is linked to great achievements at work. Good relations can actually be more important than strong capabilities at work.
According to Tim Sander's book, The Likeability Factor, which explores the positive effects on an attractive personality on one's life and career, life is a popularity contest. Everyone wants to work with someone they feel comfortable with, and personal popularity is almost always the key to victory in everything. A person who display psychological strengths is attractive. In other words, likeability is the capacity to present others with a positive emotional experience (such as making colleagues feel great about themselves).
The American Harvard Business Review (HBR) survey shows that people generally do not wish to work with an unpopular person, despite how capable he or she may be. They prefer a popular co-worker. Corporations used to focus on employees' competence in working and thinking, but more and more people are recognizing that an employee's unpopularity drives his own work efficiency downwards. If the employee distances himself from the clients or co-workers, he is of little good to the organisation no matter how shrewd or capable he is inherently.
Employee's likeability has an effect n customers. Studies show that customers' perception of the staff members who are serving them affect their general feelings about the relevant corporation. According to a particular study in North Carolina, when treated rudely, almost 60 per cent of the consumers will take their business elsewhere, even if they have to spend more effort and money to do so.
A restaurant owner in New York believes that a friendly waiter can influence how customers feel about the restaurant, and even negate the negative impact of any mistake made. Furthermore, a popular employee is more likely to get a raise and promotion. A relationship-builder is also usually more valuable to his organisation.
The above is very good to ponder of. No wonder the company where I work will go across the ocean just to find the right candidates who have a good personality, attitude and friendly.
According to Tim Sander's book, The Likeability Factor, which explores the positive effects on an attractive personality on one's life and career, life is a popularity contest. Everyone wants to work with someone they feel comfortable with, and personal popularity is almost always the key to victory in everything. A person who display psychological strengths is attractive. In other words, likeability is the capacity to present others with a positive emotional experience (such as making colleagues feel great about themselves).
The American Harvard Business Review (HBR) survey shows that people generally do not wish to work with an unpopular person, despite how capable he or she may be. They prefer a popular co-worker. Corporations used to focus on employees' competence in working and thinking, but more and more people are recognizing that an employee's unpopularity drives his own work efficiency downwards. If the employee distances himself from the clients or co-workers, he is of little good to the organisation no matter how shrewd or capable he is inherently.
Employee's likeability has an effect n customers. Studies show that customers' perception of the staff members who are serving them affect their general feelings about the relevant corporation. According to a particular study in North Carolina, when treated rudely, almost 60 per cent of the consumers will take their business elsewhere, even if they have to spend more effort and money to do so.
A restaurant owner in New York believes that a friendly waiter can influence how customers feel about the restaurant, and even negate the negative impact of any mistake made. Furthermore, a popular employee is more likely to get a raise and promotion. A relationship-builder is also usually more valuable to his organisation.
The above is very good to ponder of. No wonder the company where I work will go across the ocean just to find the right candidates who have a good personality, attitude and friendly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
