Approaching December - Gathering time!!!

Yesterday we were all busy with month-end closing preparation. My colleague was rushing, trying to finish her jobs and left the office on time, as she had an appointment with her church friends (there was a church activity and happened to be her birthday, so she didn't want to miss it out). I stayed back until 7pm, finishing my colleague's job and also rushed to do other things so that when I go back to work on Monday, I'd have myself prepared for the month-end closing.

My other colleague, Wee, and I went off office together, took MRT to Serangoon NEX. My other friends were already inside the food court waiting for us. All of us had a quick dinner before heading to Party World, a karaoke place. It's our first time trying the karaoke there. Usually we went to other places, which were usually located at city area.

At the entrance, we were explained about the charges. They offered us to purchase liquor. Since the prices were quite reasonable and there were 6 of us, we decided to buy the 2 bottles of Jim Beam plus 4 jug of mixers (waived off 8 pax cover charge). If we can't finish, we can keep the bottle there for 2 months.

Lam, Wee, PY, me, Joyce, ET

We're the usual khaki (people who have same interest) for singing karaoke. Hehehe... Although our voices were not good, we didn't criticize or laugh on it, but just enjoying the whole process, ignoring our weakness and be fun with it. We felt comfortable singing and dancing together. If you notice, there was only 1 guy among us hahaha... He is my colleague too, working together with me. I knew him from my previous working place. Since before, he had already liked to sing karaoke. I had asked him to join karaoke with my other friends and we were all very comfortable. So once in a while, we would arrange one, sometime we'll ask other friends as well, and had fun together.

We chose the songs that were shown on the other screen. We can select many language song, such as Chinese, Cantonese, Hokkien, English, Malay/Indonesian, Korean, etc. Since we went together for few times, we knew what songs that our friends like and used to sing, so we'd choose the song just like that. And when the song appeared, we'd ask the person to sing. Hahaha... They chose mostly Chinese songs since Chinese is common language here. I sang some of Chinese songs (but sometimes I would sing wrongly - didn't know how to read the words... hahaha...), English songs, and some Indonesian songs - obviously the rest didn't understand what I was singing about, but they just listened to the rhymes and beats.

Our friend, Wee, was having sore throat and lost her voice but she was still joining us. She drank the whiskey with green tea too and ended up having a headache. She tried to get asleep lying on the sofa, then after a while, she was vomiting. But she felt much better after vomiting. Since she couldn't sing, she took out her Ipad and played her farm and other games while listening us singing. She is a persistent player of those wasting time game - that's how I called it hehe...

Something like this..... hahaha....

We drank, sang, and dance. Lucky the songs were mixed. PY chose some sad songs. Before she even sang, we'd already feeling sad... hahahahaha...... (usually the broken heart songs). Gangnam style was chosen as well, but none of us knew how to sing it. So the picture above would explain how our situation was... hahahahaha........ :D

We were singing from 8 to 12am. Finally it was over... Lam was quite high. He was very happy able to sing with us and released his stress. PY and him was singing together in the last few songs and they were so entertaining... hehe... Wee felt much better too.. You could see her smiling on the photo above, was taken before we went back. Oh ya, ET left us slight earlier as she wanted to catch the last MRT, that's why she was no more be seen in the last few photos.

At the entrance, before we went back home :) Christmas is coming soon.....

Before we left, PY distributed early Christmas presents to each of us. Thank you PY!! We entered December now. In less than one month, we'll embrace a new year again. How time flies. Although time passes so fast without we knowing it, I just hope our friendship remains in many more years to come..... Thank you all!! It was a great session and see you again in 2 months time :)

Minor durian season

Durian - King of fruit

Last weekend, we went to our old house market for breakfast. I was craving for vegetarian wanton noodle while hubby and son were having kway chap. After that, we had a walk in a neighborhood and we saw a lot of durian stalls!!! The stalls were only around when there was a durian season. When passing by the place, we could smell its aroma... hmmmm..... It's been quite some time I didn't taste it - (the last one was during National Heritage Food Promotion at place where I work, some where in August). Since we took public transport back home, we didn't buy any, because the smell was very strong and bring durian to public transport (bus and MRT) was not allowed. You couldn't even bring the durian into TAXI. The driver has the right to refuse you for boarding, because the smell is very hard to disappear and some people don't like the smell at all. Too bad... I could only swallow my saliva and left the market without it.

We stay in new area, where the eating place, market, shops, and other basic facilities like clinic, dentist are not within a distance. We have to take bus, LRT, bicycle to go there. So, don't even think of having durian stalls nearby. And this evening, my mother-in-law brought back a packet of durian home. She said she 'smuggled' the styrofoam packed durian into her bag and went back home by bus and MRT. Hahaha... She knows I love durian the most and she brought that home for me. She even took a risk of embarrassment if being caught hehehe...  So touched!!

Mangosteen - Queen of fruit

However, today my hubby took the company's car and brought us for dinner, also to shop groceries. He knows I love durian very much and since he will only go back to work next Monday, he suddenly allowed me to bring some durian back too. Usually he was very strict, didn't allow durian to be put inside the company's car, scared the smell was too strong and remain inside the car. So I wouldn't miss the opportunity and bought another 3 packets of durian back home hahaha..... I also bought mangosteen as they believe that it will cool down the body (eating durian can make your body heaty).

We opened up the packet and ate it once we reached home. Hmm.... nice... The textures were soft and it was sweet with some bitterness. I ate more than one packet on my own... hahaha... Usually I can eat more than that... but now I can't eat too much and too sweet things. So we keep the remaining balance inside our fridge so tomorrow we still can enjoy it slowly.... ^^

Yes, I did it!!! :)

Remember my post that I'd volunteer to be part of the SLE research? I just did my first appointment during lunch time and it turned out quite well. I collected sample of stool and urines in the office and collected the blood, tears, and sliva samples in the hospital.

I thought I'd stumble upon the tear test, but I survived! Hehe... I felt pricky on my eyes, and that produced really lots of tears. Haha... Maybe those stars did that also so that they could cry during filming. Haha.. While closing my eyes and collecting my tears, the lady asked me the questions for their research. Before going there, I also had to fill up questionnaires. I feel blessed that so far everything has gone well and no big thing happens yet.. Hope it won't come though.. I wish...

Before ending the process, the lady was asking me again if I'm interested to do another research to find out about the relation of SLE with the likelihood of early finding of heart disease for SLE patients.

In other words, she was saying that SLE patient will suffer from heart disease earlier than a normal people. Hehe... I am a bit overwhelmed with all these. I mean, my days of living is shorter than any other people who don't have this disease. That's the fact that I have to accept. How fast? We never know. But at the end of the day, everyone will die, that's the real fact. How soon? We also never know.

It is not necessary that my life will be shorten due to this disease. Other things might happen and not related to this. So, I just tell myself not to think so much. When it comes, it will eventually come. Right now, I just have to focus on the present times, cherish my time with my loved ones, families and friends, especially my Baobei. Recently he follows me in things that I do. E.g. When I used computer, he would sit beside me and started a conversation with me, about his favorite games, about his upcoming Birthday party, while ignoring me who was trying to concentrate on the screen. He would watch Running Man and laughed together with me, and he even talked with me while watching, which disturbed me a little bit. When I arranged my medicine drawers, he sat next to me despite a limited space available, and he would talk with me, asking me what medicines were those, etc. Hehe.. It's a joy of becoming a mother. I have to enjoy it now while I can. When he grows up to teenager, he may not talk as much as he is. He may not sit beside me and talk with me anymore. He may spend his time out of the house playing with his friends, or dating with girlfriend, and so on. Or he might prefer to be quiet and live in his own world :)

I still have many dreams to be realised. I hope I can make it come true... :)

Back to the topic... Yup, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I have done my first and 11 more to come. I hope everything will go smoothly. Jia you!!!

Happiness and Peace by Venerable Master Hsing Yun

On Sunday, 18 November 2012, ET, PY and I attended the Fo Guang Shan Refuge-Taking and Five Precepts Ceremony cum Prayer for the Public at Kallang Indoor Stadium. Venerable Master Hsing Yun came to witness the ceremony, talked about the Dhamma (about Five Precepts), and did the prayer for public.

I attended this event because I wanted to see him. All this while, I only heard about his name, but never met him in person. He is 85 years old this year. My friend told me that he might not attend this type of event anymore in the future due to his age. Even when he came, he came sitting on wheelchair.

I was so glad to be there with my two best friends. Both of them are free thinker and have brief knowledge about Buddhist teaching. After hearing about five precepts, they have become clearer about what the five precepts are and corrected their wrong view. E.g. First precepts is not to kill. Both of them thought if they want to do five precepts, they must be vegetarian.

Below was taken from the program book given to us on that day. The title of the article is "Happiness and Peace". I put this here, to remind myself on how to achieve happiness and peace, just in case one day I might forget about it... hehehe... Happy reading :)

In today’s world, technological and medical advances have prolonged the human lifespan. However, such advances have also led to increasing estrangement and apathy among people. More and more people are feeling the lack of happiness and peace in their lives. Hence, the theme of this year’s General Conference is “Happiness and Peace,” through which I hope all of you can take home the essence of happiness and peace and spread it across the world, apply it to your daily lives, and be free from sorrow, worries, suffering, and trouble. At the same time, may happiness and peace broaden your minds and raise the standard and quality of your lives to higher levels.

Speaking of happiness and peace, what is the purpose of our existence in this world? Is it to find happiness? Or to experience suffering? Of course, most people would say, “Happiness!” In reality, how many people actually enjoy happiness and peace? What we hear and see most often are the wails of grief over the catastrophes of this world. These include natural disasters and man-made calamities such as war, violence, famine, poverty and various stresses and anxieties experienced in everyday life. Very few people think of life as truly happy.

The average person is committed to become famous and rich, but is happiness and peace found within fame and fortune? The answer is not entirely yes. In general, people like to pursue money and love, but can happiness and peace be found within money and love? Again, the answer is a bittersweet yes and no. As for those who pursue freedom and democratic, without inner peace and ease, life is still without true happiness and peace. Therefore, it can be said that the happiness and peace that have been sought by people for so long are in fact in the possession of very few.

How do we attain peace and happiness in life? I offer the following four suggestions:

1. Happiness and peace come from detachment and contentment
In this world, some people pursue material happiness and others pursue nature’s tranquility and peace, while some pursue material transcendence and spiritual happiness attained from detachment and contentment. So what type of happiness should we be pursuing? Material life may satisfy our daily needs, but it does not bring sustained happiness; only detachment and contentment allow us to enjoy lasting happiness.

As the saying goes, “a mind without desires makes a character noble.” A person may be without glamorous outfits or sensual enjoyments, but as long as he or she is not greedy for anything, he or she will naturally be noble in character. A person who is detached and without desires does not get jealous or compare himself with others, does not oppose or fight with others, and does not treat people or matters with arrogance and insolence, but follows any conditions with perfect ease. Take the many eminent and virtuous people throughout history, for example. They earned the respect of others not because of their wealth, but because of their moral integrity nurtured through living simple but content lives. They are the true models of living the philosophy of emptiness.

While most people pursue wealth and fame, they need to know that a beautiful life with a broader vision can be attained by “enjoying” instead of “possessing.” For example, although I do not own the mountains, rivers, lands, flowers, and trees, I can still wander through them in a carefree manner. Is this not happiness? While someone else may own the entire world and I do not, I can still enjoy the cool breezes and the bright moon. I can still care for the world I live in and regard all people as my brothers and sisters. To be able to enjoy the entire universe and the vast emptiness makes my world bigger and broader than owning a town, a city, a country or immeasurable wealth. Hence, life is not about the pursuit of what we can own, because no matter how much we have, we can never satisfy our greed. Enjoy life with a detached mind and happiness and contentment will be found everywhere.

Detachment and contentment give rise to the strengths of concentration and wisdom. The more detached you are, the more concentrated you can be, and thus, the more you are able to redefine the meaning and value of life.

Detachment and contentment means: there are things we should do, things we should not do in life; there are things that we should desire, things we should not desire in our minds. When we can be content, we will not be enslaved by life and will be able to settle both body and mind to enjoy the wealth and happiness of contentment. Therefore, detachment and contentment are true wealth, and people who understand detachment and contentment will naturally have happiness and peace in life.

2. Happiness and peace come from compassion and tolerance
Compassion is an asset jointly owned by all living beings; it is not exclusive to Buddhism. Only when there is compassion can humanity coexist in mutual prosperity.

Compassion is not a demand on others, nor is it a standard by which we judge people. It is a way to discipline ourselves. Compassion does not mean blind tolerance to physical attack or verbal abuse. When justice is threatened or when good people are being slandered or attacked, we should stand up bravely for them. Compassion is not a momentary emotion, but a persistent service for others. Compassion is not just being kind only to our friends and family, nor does it mean we are to expect anything in return. Compassion is not always about praises and encouragement. Sometimes, in the interest of common well-being or to subdue the head-headed, an angry expression is required to subdue villains. This is actually the greatest and most difficult form of compassion.

There are no enemies in the eyes of compassion. Compassion brings good affinities. Compassion harmonizes self and others, and is one with the universe. As the saying goes, tolerance fosters greatness; with compassion and tolerance, we can naturally unite people and create many supporting conditions.

However, compassion and tolerance alone are not enough. They need to be supplemented by wisdom. In this world, the meaning of compassion is often distorted, leading to excessive indulgence and turning a blind eye to what is wrong. When applied inappropriately, compassion can become the source of crimes and wrongdoings. For instance, the common practice of freeing live animals actually causes harm to more animal lives. Inappropriate and lavish giving of money only nurtures greed and corruption. Therefore, true compassion and tolerance must be supplemented by prajna wisdom to prevent traveling down the wrong path, rendering the initial intentions futile.

Looking at the conflicts in this world, they are usually caused by intolerance between different nations, cultures, races, and religions. Poverty gaps and social stratification are the causes of various conflicts, a problem faced by humanity as a whole. If we wish to be free from these dilemmas, compassion and tolerance are the only solution. Only compassion and tolerance can help to resolve conflicts, prevent wars; only compassion can enhance and sustain world peace.

3. Happiness and peace come from letting go and picking up with perfect ease
Very often, we hear people complaining about the stresses and anxieties of life, and relationships that become too much to bear. Exactly what is causing this lack of peace for the body and mind? When we feel too much pressure in this world, it is usually due to our lack of willingness to let go. Unable to let go, the human mind is constantly worried about all kinds of interpersonal problems, troubled by disputes over right and wrong, and plagued by all types of comparisons.

I often use the suitcase as a metaphor for life: we pick it up when we need to, and we let go of it when it is time to do so.  When we pick up something, we should be able to shoulder the responsibility with courage, with the resolve and sense of mission in serving. When it is time to let go, we should also follow conditions and let go in a calm and composed manner. The ability to let go makes it easy to pick up again. When you are willing to take a step forward, there will be hope for the future.

In picking up, we are picking up right mindfulness, right actions, right speech, right thought, compassion, morality, good conditions, and diligence. In letting go, we should have the flexibility to be big or to be small, to give or to take, to have or not to have, and to stay high or to lie low.

We should let go of our greed for fame and gain as well as attachment to troubles and defilements.  We should even let go of the delusive thought of having to let go of something. Picking up and letting go are two sides of the same coin; they are equally important. To pick up does not mean to fight for something; it is a resolve, a form of tolerance, and wisdom. To let go does not mean to ride on a loose rein and indulge oneself; it is the bodhisattva spirit of giving, only making contributions and not expecting anything in return. Knowing to let go allows us a much bigger world; being brave to pick up permits our short and limited life to be more at ease. Because we learn to give, naturally, happiness and peace will follow us.

4. Happiness and peace come from altruism and selflessness
No man is an island. We all must rely on various causes and conditions to survive. In other words, the life of a person is closely tied to all walks of society. However, the greatest flaw of humanity comes from selfishness and attachment. Only within simplicity can the greatest truth be found; only within the most ordinary can a longstanding path be found.

People who only think for themselves will not only lack the affinity and support of others, but will also encounter difficulties in accomplishing tasks without the strength afforded by teamwork. Being selfless and altruistic expands our hearts and saves us from being self-centered.

In daily life, each and every thought can be a point for cultivation. If we can face the world with selflessness, altruism, detachment, and no desires, then we will naturally have respect and tolerance for everything. As such, our lives will benefit so much more, and happiness and peace will come naturally.

To sum up, happiness and peace are what everyone seeks and the vision all humanity strives to attain. A happy outlook in life brings peace in living. It is my hope that everyone can nurture a character of contentment and detachment, have a mind of compassion and tolerance, learn to pick up and let go with perfect ease, and achieve a character of selflessness and altruism. Let us work together, contribute to the happiness and peace of humanity, that is filled with happiness and peace here and now.

Last but not least, may you hearts be filled with Dharma joy, and may each and every one of you live a life of happiness and peace.

Some thoughts of mine

“To love is not to have.” – How many of you have such a thought?

I do.

For me, that is “detachment” that I have to practice, over and over again. The things that we love can be human being, things, animals, success, natures, places, etc.

Actually it’s just an excuse for me not getting hurt further hehe.., also to control my desire, wishful thinking, and avoid thinking too much. Somehow it’s just sad to know that we love something, but we can’t have it, which is due to many reasons.

And this, leads to another sentence, “To love is to let go.”

When you see your loved one is happy with their lives, that’s enough. Let them be free, be happy. Not sure if they are really happy, but by having a thought that seeing them happy, we can be happy too.

Have you ever had thinking like this? “Everything is a dream. Nothing is real. You will realize that one day.” Well, perhaps… , all this is just a dream?

Below is the poem written by James Kavanaugh – for your reading pleasure :)

To Love is Not to Possess

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one's self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one's self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another--and to one's inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon's own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child's scars
Or an adult's deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are--and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.