Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Can we accept people's flaws and weaknesses???

Below here was extracted from "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's interesting for me that I decided to quote it here and share it with you:

"When I used to go down to Brazil to buy gemstones, I would often buy something they call 'a parcel'. A parcel is this random collection of gems that miner or wholesaler or whoever is bullshitting you puts together. A typical parcel would contain, I don't know, maybe twenty to thirty aquamarine at once. Supposedly, you get a better deal that way - buying them all in a bunch - but you have to be careful, because of course the guy is trying to rip you off. He's trying to unload his bad gemstones on you by packaging them together with a few really good ones."

"So when I first started in jewelry business, I used to get in trouble because I'd get too excited about the one or two perfect aquamarine in the parcel, and I wouldn't pay as much attention to the junk they threw in there. After I got burned enough times, I finally got wise and learned this: You have to ignore the perfect gemstones. Don't even look at them twice because they're binding. Just put them away and have a careful look at the really bad stones. Look at them for a long time, and then ask yourself honestly, 'Can I work with these? Can I make something out of this?' Otherwise, you've just spent a whole lot of money on one or two gorgeous aquamarine buried inside a big heap of worthless crap."

"It's the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that?' Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

The quotes above was emphasizing whether we could work out something or accept the other person's fault and weakness rather than focus only few good things that the person has.

In the beginning of a relationship, usually people would naturally behave and show the good qualities of themselves. Only over time, when they got closer, they started showing the other side of their personalities. The faults and flaws would slowly appear. That's why it required some time for people to learn about each other before they could decide whether they should go on with the deeper relationship.

So, the interesting part would be: How many people could accept not only the good things that the person has, but also including their flaws and weaknesses? Because at the end of the day, this person would be the one whom they choose to spend the rest of their lives with.

For those who is married, have u ever thought this way before you got married? Or would you just blindly accept everything and just go with the flow? Have you ever regretted not considering these things before?

And for those who is single, would it be one of the reasons on why you decided not to continue the relationship because you could not stand the flaws and weakness of your partner and decided to give it up before it went for further step?

Think about it!!!

A true soul mate


Anonymous said...

Hey...I just randomly came across your blog by accident, while searching for some Indonesian food pictures.
Btw, saya orang Indonesia :)
After reading what you wrote above, it kinda makes me think. It has a deep meaning for me, and makes wonder about my current situation. Just want to say thank you dan salam kenal. Nice blog and I can feel the positive vibes just by reading your blog. Keep up the good work. ^^

Overcome said...

Hi, thank you very much for your good and kind words! That really motivates me. And I'm glad that what I wrote might bring some positive impacts into your current situation. I really hope it did :) Salam kenal juga! ^^

Anonymous said...

Excellent post.

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