Another stage of parenthood

Happy 18th Birthday (Pic source: Google.com)

"While many of my friends recently entering into their first stage of parenthood (currently busy with their newborn babies), I am myself entering into another phase of motherhood. 

My dear Baobei will turn 18 soon, and these days he has shown tell tale signs of having attraction to a girl, which commonly found in teenagers of his age. 

I might be busy with work these days, but there was no escape for him to keep hiding what was going on in his life. 

Perhaps it was an instinct of a woman and a mother (especially strong in my self) that made me thinking something was off for the past few weeks. 

Two days ago our doubts had come to reality as I saw it with my own eyes (as she too works at the same place), entered  after him into the staff room, with her glowing face and wide smile shining so bright (usually shown by those who was falling in love - the extremely happy face that could not be hidden).

There was a 'winning' and proud sign shown as she looked into me, as if she wanted to tell me that she managed to conquer his heart over mine.

My heart felt a pinch when I saw that both of them were wearing couple sandal. My son with his blue Adidas and white stripes that he bought and wore for quite some time, and she with her white Adidas and blue stripes, still looking new. 

I was just keeping quiet but my heart was shattered as if I have lost in the battle to keep the heart of my loved one.

I immediately sent messages to my hubby to share my findings and he told me that he would talk with him that night, and give him some advise as this sounds to be his first time to be in the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.

After having conversation boy-to-man that night, he finally confessed his feeling. He even mentioned a little more details about the girl that he likes. 

It is not that I do not agree with it or want to stop him from it. But we as parents, just want to give some guidance and advices on what to expect from it. As we all know, in beginning stage, it is usually all about beautiful, flowery, and loving stuffs and world. Hahaha.... (talking from own experience :P)

We had talked with him days before that, but who could stop the heart from falling right??? At least he told us that both of them knew and understood that study is still the priority for both of them. So I hope they both can keep their words and still happily enjoying the relationship moments that they deserve having at this stage of life. 

I felt lost at first, because it had never happened before. In my eyes, he is always my baby, who came out from inside my stomach. I still remember vividly how he cried just after coming out and was brought to my side. My eyes were swelling with tears of happiness as I saw him born healthy and normal. And soon, I have to share him with another girl - his time, love and so on. 

This made me recall the past of how unhappy (or maybe jealous) my father was,  when I was dating with my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend), and spent most of my day and time with him. 

The relationship did not end well. I went through heartbreak moments and took me days to overcome (with so many tears to shed almost every night).

Perhaps at that time, my father was relieved, because after that, that was when I was supposed to get to know with my current hubby here in Singapore. 

Anyway, I never hope Baobei to be in the same situation as I had before, but if anything happens, I hope he would know how to face, accept, overcome, stand tall again, and move on with his life."

The above post was written mid of November. I decided not to post it immediately.

My Baobei just celebrated his 18th Birthday yesterday. In Singapore 18 years means lots of thing.

It is the legal age here to vote, sue or to be sued, open bank account in own name, get a tattoo, buy cigarette or tobacco, buy and drink alcohol in the bar, and so on. 

For me, it is the age when we should allow him to be in relationship. However, we can only wish him to use all the allowance responsibly, and not forgetting what he told us earlier (to prioritise study).

It took me only a while to accept this fact and realisation. I feel much better now.

Like a kite (IG: rimareyka.writes)

"Raising a child is indeed, not an easy journey. Like flying a kite, you must know when to pull and when to let go." - Rimareyka.writes 

Happiest Birthday to dear Baobei. I may not be your best mom, but I will always be your only mom in this lifetime.

For your 18th, I wish you be healthy and happy, live your life well, balance your time well between family, friends, and her, know what you want, reach your dreams, know your limit on how far you can go. Be kind and good to all sentient beings too! May Buddha bless you all the time. 

Love you always and forever.

Your loving parents.