Before starting my busy day today, I sat down in quiet contemplation. I think, look back, and see what I've done so far. Time flies. December is coming very soon and another new year is coming in about two months time.
I think that sometimes it amazes me on how much I've been through in this past one year, how things that happened affected my life unconsciously and unknowingly.
Somehow it affects my behavior changes too. Sometimes I've become someone I don't even recognize. But I'm glad that this year I've been knowing and meeting lots of new friends that I'd never imagined that I would encounter this way before. Thanks to fate and good karma ba!
However, life continues on. There are so many things I want to do now starting from understanding my inner voice, then act accordingly. Since I fail to recognize the other 'me', I need to rectify it and find my own self back.
Recently I've not gone for my cycling session. Just went once after coming back from Bhutan. Cycling is one kind of therapy for me where I can have my own time to let my mind think and wander off, speak to my inner self on what I've been doing, what should I do, and so on, enjoy the nature surrounds me, let my freedom roam away satisfy my needs of getting freely from any boundary, restrictions, right and wrong, customs, traditions that mainly were created by and to human, and just to enjoy the present moment.
Apart due to rain, I was kinda lost my mood on it since my last cycling. The place that I used to go is now surrounded by high-rise HDB buildings and concrete such as: flyover road bridge. It made me sick. My soul needs nature just like horse needs huge grasslands to roam about. I need space to satisfy my hunger and thirst soul, also awareness on where it goes and what they do. I can feel it when it has surpassed my own self. I start looking for guidance and advise from others.
Many people asked me where is my next destination for upcoming trip. Honestly I haven't planned anything yet. Few places occupied my mind though but I am not in a hurry to realize it soon. I'm in resting mood now. Just want to rest and be lazy, stay at home and do whatever things I love to do, such as reading, writing, sleeping, watching TV, and so on.
Meeting friends would be part of my life too because we can't live in this life just by myself. We need someone who understand us, listen to us, giving us opinion and support etc., although at the end we are the one who make decision on what we are going to do.
I agree life is full of ups and downs. We just need to recognize this state, accept it as part and parcel of our life, and let go the unhappy thing and let live the one that we love doing it.
So hopefully I will go back to my own self again for the rest of the year and come out with new energy and spirit that I require to face new challenges in upcoming year.
Jia you Overcome!!! You can do it!!!