What's next??

It's a story of a woman in her 50s who finds herself at a crossroads, contemplating the new reality of life, such as the death of a dear friend, children leaving home, recognition of her own physical vulnerability, and a surprising shift in her marriage.

Below was her thought when her long time friend, Nancy, calling her one day, telling her the troubles that she faced. For her, Nancy was a type of person who was always perfectly clear in her convictions and deeply committed to her passions. Even such a person, had also encountered a hard time in overcoming her lives in this period of time.

"Now I'm beginning to realize that none of our lives, not even the ones that appear 'perfect' from the outside looking in, are without their share of challenges, disappointments, and worries. Yet it still astonishes me that my most skillful, self-sufficient friend is suffering such pangs of doubt. But, of course, I shouldn't be surprised at all. 

To be human and alive, it seems, is to strive and to struggle, to learn and to grow even as we endure our losses and questions our ability to transcend them. It's easy to think we should be somewhere or someone else - smarter and wiser, or further along on the path, closer to having an answer. 

Instead we muddle along, heads down, certain everyone else must know something we haven't figured out yet: how to be happy, how to love without getting hurt, how to let go, when to hold on, how to live with uncertainty, where to find faith."

20 years from now, I might recall this familiar thinking of her and may face the same problem. And I believe, I will not be the only one. Everyone will encounter loss, at one point, when kids have grown up, friends facing different phase of problems, or maybe our close friend's death because of sickness, our different type of problems in marriage, and so on. Our lives will be different by then.

In the book, Katrina went to Kripalu Center to practice and to become a certified Yoga teacher, which at the same time, to find her another purpose in life.

For my case, I may not wait until I reach my 50s to search for my spiritual journey. I may go earlier than that. Because I don't know how long more I can live in this world. One day, as I find I have this urge and need to go to learn meditation, I will do it straight away. I won't wait until I get lost in my 50s.

And indeed, it needs courage to be away from our normal activity in life. To be away from family, from work, from friends, and to go to some isolated place, somewhere we've never been before, some place where we'll meet strangers from all over the world, who have the same purpose to be there, to find the spiritual journey.  

Hm... I wonder if I can fulfill that dream of mine one day...... :)